Girlfriends

I have always been fortunate to have amazing female friendships. From the time I was little, my mother helped me foster friendships that have now lasted more than 20 years. And she was much the same, having "collected" friends from every stage of her life - high school, college, Lamaze class, stitch 'n bitch groups, baby swim classes, Welcome Wagon, etc. You get the point.

A couple weeks ago my college girlfriends and I had our 8th annual Women's Retreat. The six of us have met in different parts of the country during different times of the year since graduating from U. of Puget Sound in 2004. We were all friends in college, some of us closer than others, and I can truly say I think our friendships are stronger now, even though we are spread across the country, than they were when we lived in the same dorms or same houses.

This year, our first one in several that did not revolve around one of our weddings, took place in Denver. Stacy and Nick were kind enough to open up their home to house us for a long weekend. It never really matters what we do when we're together, as conversation dominates no matter what.

Anna, Amy, Kathleen, Jo and Stacy out to dinner - Gretchen was in route from NYC (also known as perpetually delayed).

Stacy, Jo, Gretchen, Amy and Anna at Stacy's family's cabin in Kenosha.

Amy, Stac, Gretch and Anna jump for joy after a paddle around Kenosha.

Our group in its entirety: Amy, Jo, Kathleen, Gretch, Anna and Stac at "Canvas and Cocktails," where we drank wine and learned to paint from a teacher who would be better suited to instruct a Spin class.

One of the most fun things about this year's trip was re-discovering our "Circle Journal." In 2004 we started circulating a notebook where we updated each other with the going-ons of our life at the time. We, of course, also kept in touch by email, phone calls, and text messages. But the Circle Journal served as a more formal documentation of our lives - work, location, travels, love, or random musings. I'm sure I got the idea from some pre-teen movie like Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants or something of the sort. During our many trips to and from the airport, we read aloud our own passages and laughed about the old memories. At some point a year or two ago the Circle Journal fell to the wayside, so we've committed to re-circulating the journal and picking up where we left off - which is my very favorite part of these friendships, how easy it is to always pick right back up as if no time has passed at all.

Ladies- you are unique, beautiful, driven, selfless women and I feel so blessed to have known you and had your loyal friendship for the past 10-plus years.

Take Anna, for example. We did not know one another well in college. She lived in the dorm across campus, but became friends with Amy and Stacy. They all ended up living together sophomore year, and that's how I started to get to know her. Anna is a go-with-the-flow kind of person. One of the more relaxed, Type B personalities in my life. She loves camp, travelling (Germany in particular), and being social. She lived in Germany during college, and again when she was awarded a Fullbright after college. Now she lives in Big Sky, MT with her husband, Neil. She works as a hiring manager for a company that staffs J-1 foreign students. She gets to travel and meet people from all over the world - and she gets paid for it! She smiles easily, likes to talk and write lengthy emails, and has sort of a Pollyanna perspective on the world that I sometimes envy. Oh yeah, and she has this cute little athletic figure that always seems to be in shape, whether or not she exercises regularly. And she doesn't have food issues, which is just a novelty to me.

And then there is Amy. She might take offense to this, but I mean it as a compliment. She's the kind of friend that I likely would not have made independently, because we are so different in so many ways. But because we have this diverse group of girlfriends, I have been fortunate to have gotten to know her, and lived with her my senior year in college. She's another smiley one (then again, most of my friends are warm people with big hearts), and blushes when she laughs. She grew up in South Eugene, where she lives now with her husband, Jake, who she actually knew in high school. She is one of the most active people I know - running, biking, swimming. And she has about 1.5 million friends. She works as a physical therapist, after graduating school in Montana. She reminds me of my mother-in-law in a lot of ways, particularly because of her love of grocery shopping, food, and cooking. She is a very supportive friend, one who even took time out of her day to come to my thesis presentation, and sends texts regularly to say hi or that she's thinking of someone. She is also one of the least judgmental and most open-armed, inclusive people. She is always making new friends and inviting people in to her life. I lived near her during graduate school - she's the kind of person who offered to fix me dinner the night before a big test, or meet me for a quick lunch on campus.

Gretchen is one of those people who always seems to have it all together. She and her husband live in New York. She works as a physician assistant at a few different settings, her husband is a urologist, and they always seem to be either working, working out, or on vacation. Gretch always has everything perfectly planned, perfectly organized, and her outfits are always perfectly coordinated. Needless to say, I don't know how she always seems to keep it all together. Yet another thoughtful one - a Coach purse for my bridal shower, cards to encourage baby-making, and regular texts. Did I mention she is HILARIOUS?!? She is a great storyteller who always has me hanging on her every word, particularly when it comes to the trials and tribulations of her patients' lives.

Kathleen was one of my bridesmaids, and was my main connection to this group of girls. She and I were fast friends our first week of college. She is a little one, with tons of energy. I think she slept a total of 24 hours throughout all of college. We have made many, many memories together, including time in Block Island and Newport, travels (and hospital stays) in Europe and Central America, and random adventures stateside. When I think of Kathleen, I think of one night we were studying late in the SUB. We have always had wonderful, energizing conversations, and given the late hours and early stages of our delirium, I descr ibed her as "mossy." To this day, that is how I like to think of her. She has lived all over the world and is the most "nontraditional" of our bunch. She's probably also the most intelligent and well-read, particularly on wordly matters. She helped start a magazine, The Internationalist, during and after college. Then she lived in Costa Rica working for an outdoor adventure company. She recently graduated with a Master's in international business in Boston and just moved to NYC to work for a new company. She's another great story teller with a keen sense of humor and timing. She has a way with words, and can master even a Friday NYT crossword.

And then, of course, there's my maid of honor, my partner in crime, and my very bestest friend in the world, Stacy. No one makes me laugh as much as she does, even when Alex has his super on-fire days. She is also the very most thoughtful and caring person. Anyone who has ever met her for five minutes falls in love with her, and I feel lucky to have her as such a huge part of my life. When I think of Stac, I think of her huge smile, her full-bodied hugs, and her infectious laugh. And then I remember what a foul mouth and dirty mind she has, and I'm grateful she's not all niceties all the time. I mean, who else would not only puke on my pillow, but also pee in my bed, and then laugh hysterically about it for the next week? Who else would hug me and rub my back while I cried over every boy who dumped me? Or who would host a beautiful "ladies luncheon" and fabulous bachelorette party for me - fruit dip and all? She's the friend I dreamed about as a kid - the kind I wanted to live next door to, marry brothers, buy houses next door to one another, raise our kids together, grow old together. And although we're separated by a few states, I think we're well on our way down a more grown-up version of this dream.

These brief descriptions don't do justice for the depth of these women and my friendships with them. But I like to reflect on what makes each of them special to me, and this is a still picture of how I'm feeling fondly about them at just this very moment.