SLIDER

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Thank You, No Thank You, Okay, You're Welcome

Alex and I are just so pleased with ourselves when we do nice things for one another. Our friends, the ones who more closely approximate adults, do nice things for their spouses all the time without even blinking an eye.

For example, one of my BFs, Rachel, she is ALWAYS thinking about Trevor and potential acts of kindness. If we meet for coffee, she brings him home an iced mocha or a scone. If we are shopping downtown, she'll buy him his favorite Voodoo Doughnut. If we eat out, she keeps her leftover pizza for him. So yeah, it mostly revolves around food, but still. And her thoughtfulness does not go unappreciated or unrequited. Trevor usually expands beyond the foodstuffs and steps into flower, and sometimes even jewelry, territory. I can hardly bring myself to buy Alex a chocolate bar when I'm waiting to check out at the grocery store. Unless the candy is on sale and I know Alex ate an apple that day. Then I can justify the purchase and calories. Besides, I'd rather use the time to catch up on all my celebrity gossip. (Aside: Did you see the size of Kim Kardashian's ginormous ring?!?)

Take today, for example. I made Alex's lunch. For maybe the second time. Ever. I was so pleased with myself that I made him a turkey and cheese sandwich, and thought to myself how cute it was I decided to add "ants on a log" and a cute little note. It took me all of six minutes to do this nice favor, and in my head, this should buy me some time in the "but I did XXX, so you owe me" category.

It goes both ways. Take tonight. Alex thinks he's doing me a favor if he's the one who grabs the remote control to turn on the television. The he tells me that I should be the one to turn on the VCR and press play for "Hung" because he already turned on the TV. Big effing deal! You want a cookie for your effort?

I wouldn't dare let him forget how I already did my good deed for the day.

"Did you see I folded your laundry?"
"Yeah, I did. Thanks. Again."
(4 1/2 minutes pass; crickets chirp).
"Did you see how I folded all your socks together?"
"Uh-huh."
"I even flipped them right-side out. So you wouldn't have to do that in the morning."
(Me, with a self-satisfied, shit-eating grin plastered to my face).
"How did your lunch taste today? Did I make the sandwich right?"
"Yeah, it was great. Thanks for all the treats."
"Did you see I made you ants on a log? Cute, huh?!?"
"Mm-hmm. It was cute. Thanks."
"What about those nuts. Did you eat those?"
"Yup. Didn't I already say thank you? Well, thanks. Again."

That's the last time I'm folding his laundry, I think to myself. He doesn't even appreciate how much effort that took for me. So what I get to sleep in nearly 3 hours longer than him. So what I get the whole day free. So what I have the time to pick up extra weight around the house. I folded laundry. And not only mine. I did HIS laundry. Doesn't that make me a fabulous wife?!? Right?!? Tell me again. And again. And again!

Oh yeah, on that note. Thanks again for cooking dinner. Tonight. And every night. And THEN doing the dishes afterward. Every. Single. Night. Seriously. Thank you times one million. xoxo

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