I was able to hear Baby Beluga on the doppler at my make-up OB appointment this morning. Steady, fast heartbeat? Check. Weight gain? Check ("3" pounds so far; I call that a well-fed weekend, negligible weight gain/loss as far as I'm concerned). The OB asked me if I exercised, and I said, "I used to." She gently encouraged me to re-start a workout regimen. Instead I stopped at Kettleman Bagels on the way home to ingest my favorite sesame bagel, toasted, with plain cream cheese, cucumber and tomato. Flu shot? Check. I'm feeling a bit more protected before I start working with patients at the VA (supposedly) this week. But my arm hurts. Can that count as my workout today? Scheduled ultrasound? Check! for November 14, where we will get to find out Baby's gender ...
... On that note, Alex started a serious conversation about the possibility of our child being transgendered while we were getting ready for bed the other night. I think this is hilarious. Of all the things to think about, talk about, and prepare for now, I can tell you with all sincerity that this has not yet crossed my mind. And likely wouldn't, had I not been married to a UO Teach graduate.
"How would you feel if our kid was transgendered?," Alex asked me the other night, toweling off his face post-shave.
"Um, fine I guess. If our boy wants to dress like a girl, whatever. Or vice versa. I just don't want him or her to get beat up," I responded.
"What about that puberty-stopping medical treatment? Would you allow our kid to do that?" he asked, sort of aggressively.
"Definitely not," I responded without even thinking twice. "I'm not about to let my developing child make any permanent, health-related decisions until they're 16 or 18. No boob jobs. No nose jobs. No hormone therapies. Then again, if the situation actually arose, I would obviously do more thorough research. Right now all I have is my uneducated opinion."
"So you would make your child live in a body they hated, making them at a higher risk of depression, social isolation, and suicide? " he said, challenging my parenting perspective.
"Yeah, well I never had any gender-related issues, but I had an eating disorder and hated the body I was in. So you can't win them all." Oh, snap! "The bottom line, babe, is that I would be supportive. And I'm not really worried about it right now."
Truth is, I think it's a cute and endearing trait of my husband's, this passionate defense of some of our random societal underdogs. He loves Spanish-speaking immigrants, the LGBQT community, kids who don't like or aren't good at school, and certain kids with disabilities.
And to sate your appetite for facts, here's a quick study guide:
-According the Wiki, "transgender" is: the state of one's "gender identity" (self-identification as woman, man, neither or both) not matching one's "assigned sex" (identification by others as male, female or intersex based on physical/genetic sex).[1] "Transgender" does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation;
-The DSM-IV classifies Gender Identity Disorder as: (1) someone has a strong and persistent cross-gender identification; (2) feels a persistent discomfort with his or her sex; (3) this discomfort is not due to being intersex or hermaphroditic; and (4) the discomfort causes significant distress or impairment in their life.
-According to an ABC.com article, the cause of gender identity "disorder" is unknown. Interestingly, during the first eight weeks of pregnancy all fetuses' brains look exactly the same: female, nature's default position. Male brains begin to develop differently once testosterone surges in the womb. Some scientists hypothesize that a hormone imbalance during this part of development stamps the "wrong" gender imprint.
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