Funny Bone

In an attempt to alleviate some of the stress, fear, and sadness that Brian's injury brings about, I have been trying to find bits and pieces of humor. After all, I'm allowed no Xanax, so laughter better damned well be the best medicine. Cuz it's all I've got. And for that reason I am allowing myself to giggle at the silly things Brian has said, jotting them down for posterity, in order to share these with him when this is all a distant memory of our past.

"Holy shit, where the hell am I?"

"Is it your head or jaw that hurts?"

"Ouchie."

"Just give me a day." (Telling the nurses to leave him alone and stop waking him for quick cognitive evaluations).

He sat up in bed, pried open just his right eye, and said, "Take it off. I don't think it will be a big deal right now." (Asking me and Katie to take off all his wires and IVs while the nurses and doctors were out of the room).

Brian wanted water. Badly. And we felt so badly we couldn't give him any, as he was still on the waiting list for his jaw surgery.

"Why can't you give me any of that shit?

I got it last time I was here.

What the fuck. They let me drink it last time. I need to finish the joint."

"How are you doing?"

"Torture."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

"I wanna fucking kill myself. And go to the bathroom."

"What is the date today?"

"Day and half after yesterday."

"Where are you?"

"I need to go back to our place, in Telluride."

"How'd you get here?"

"Same way as yesterday."

"I just want to go home."

"Where's home?"

"Telluride."

"You live in Block Island now, Bri."

"That's what I meant."

"Where do you work?"

"Lotus petal. Honga."

"Bri, you work at the Manisses now. Who do you live with?"

"My girlfriend."

"What girlfriend?"

"My MAIN one!" he said, exasperated.

"I feel aggressive. Feel like I've been here for days."

"This sucks. Can I please have the dynafite? Dynarite? Dynamite? I'm gonna lose it. It's been one hour but like nine."

"I hate feeling this sour."

"I can't do this another day. Get me out of this booby trap."

"I'm not gonna make it. It's 1 o clock not 5 o clock. I don't care. Let's just walk around the beach."

"Where's my sister? I want Billy. I really miss Alex."

To Katie: "I'm glad you still like me."

"You're lucky you got me at bedtime." he tells the PT, even though it was the afternoon. "I'm trying to be asleep because I'm pissed off I've been here five days now."

When the nurse checked his blood pressure: "Was that a good number? Did you like it?"

"It's in the cootie."