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Monday, December 12, 2011

Uh-Oh

It appears that the tides have turned. The wind has shifted. The times they are a' changin'. ...

I am afraid my weeks of pregnancy bliss are behind me. Where are you, happy hormones?

I am starting to feel tired again, and I'm just now 24 weeks in. If the pattern continues in a downhill trend, that will leave me with just 12/40 weeks of feeling good - including the 4 weeks before I knew I was pregnant.

I had my first bout of "crazy hormonal pregnant bitch of a wife" this weekend. I was nitpicking at Alex Saturday and Sunday about his extremely annoying habits - obsessively fidgeting with his beard, picking at his nails, talking through inane decisions aloud, making eye contact with me while driving. Yes, the nervous tics and distracted driving occasionally annoys me, but not to a level where I rip him a new asshole to make my point. I am usually able to make myself politely heard every now and again. However, I was unable to restrain my criticism this weekend. And eventually found myself apologizing dramatically for acting like such an ungrateful wench.

Then again, I did indeed start my Saturday morning crying.

"I don't want to buy a house ..." I boo-hooed.
"I mean, I don't want to borrow or accept money from your parents to buy a house ..." I continued.
"It's too generous of them and it makes me feel like we're lying to everyone, like we're telling people we did it ourselves ..." More tears.
"It's gonna come with an emotional tax. Like it's their house, not ours. I want my own house ... I want my own family ..." Sob, sob.

Alex, ever the supportive one (at least, for the first 5 minutes of a Jo Breakdown). "It's going to be okay, babe. It will be our own house. And we are building our own family. You're not an island."

"Yes, I am. And I want to be. I want to live on the island by myself with my baby and my dog. It's just easier that way."

"Well if you're on an island, I'm not going to let you live there alone. I'll sleep on the atoll, and then sneak over to the island at night when you're sleeping to take care of you."

"The monkeys take care of me and they will not let you on the island, because I'm the queen and they listen to everything I say."

"Sorry, babe, but the monkeys are my homies. We drink whiskey together and build things. They want me on the island, too."

See what I mean? Crazy hormones. Got me talking about islands and monkeys and the like. Good thing Alex plays along with my antics, and wards of the evil in me with lots of hugging and cuddling, even when I try to squirm away from him. "I'm melting your icy heart," he says. Eventually I give in, like a child tired from throwing an epic tantrum, and rest my head on his shoulder, breathe a deep breath, and let the bad thoughts go.

2 comments:

  1. I am so glad that Alex encourages you so much. You are doing a great job, Jo-- even if you think you're hormonal. You have a ton of stuff on your plate right now, so give yourself permission to have a few bitchy days here and there!

    ReplyDelete

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