SLIDER

Friday, March 23, 2012

5 Days Young

My body hurts. From swollen breasts to sore nipples to a falling undercarriage. Don't let anyone tell you having a baby is easy. It wrecks the body, at least for a little while.

It burns when I pee, so much so that my body quivers and and I'm on the edge of the toilet seat nearly dry heaving. The squirt bottle of warm water helps some, and the spray antiseptic make a temporary difference, but I miss taking a quick pee and wiping with Costco TP. Instead, the uric acid is, literally, like rubbing salt on a wound.

My boobs feel like they might be 100+ degrees on the inside. They seem to radiate heat when I feed Francie. My nipples barely resemble their previous state. And the tips are turnings shade of brown as they slowly callous. I was told we had mastered a "perfect" latch while at the hospital, and that Alex, Francie and I were "star pupils" (not that it tooted our horn or anything), but it turns out breast feeding is not this constant. It's not like a skill you can master in just 5 days, just as a newborn is not some creature you can simply just figure out. It's a song and dance really, and sometimes I'm the lead, but mostly Francie is the lead, and we're just learning each others rhythm.

And my ass, my ass feels as though I landed flat on my tail in a patch of ice. I got away without the waddle during pregnancy, but I'm more than making up for it now. I can't sit on the hard wooden chairs in the dining room without a pillow to comfort me. And we're not even talking hemorrhoids here. Just good ole fashioned muscle and ligament pain, presumably from all the shifting in my pelvis to squeeze Francie through.

My emotions are mostly in check, save for the one time I was your post-partum cliche - hand expressing breast milk while crying in the shower about how hard it is to hear your baby cry and not know how to make it stop. 'I fed her, we changed her, and she just keeps howling,' I sobbed.

And then, in that final moments before the 'Why did I do this again?' thoughts begin to enter my head, she magically calms down and falls asleep peacefully on my chest. And there is simply nothing more delicious in this world.


3 comments:

  1. This is so honest that it totally took me back to that period! If it's any consolation, I really had forgotten about several of these details-- already. And Francie is so adorable. I keep looking at the pics you sent every time I open my email! : )

    ReplyDelete
  2. There really is nothing like it, and the feelings of amazement don't seem to get old either....at least not in my 10 week experience :) I would love to meet Francine sometime when I am back home for a visit, she is precious!!
    Sincerely,
    Fellow new mother,
    Kristin

    ReplyDelete
  3. Joanna.........I love your honesty. It kind of freaks me out, but I love it. I can't wait to talk to you.

    ReplyDelete

Hover to Pin

 
Designed with ♥ by Nudge Media Design