8 Weeks Old

She coos, she raises her arms, she's discovered her hands, and she holds her head a bit more steadily. But nothing compares to her newest development - her smiles. It seems she is trying on a variety of smiles - sometimes an ear-ro-ear grin, sometimes an open mouthed arc, and sometimes a little something more subtle with her lips together. All of them make my heart swell, particularly when I am the recipient of such unsolicited happiness. Unfortunately, we have yet to capture these smiles on camera. But I'm confident there will be plenty of smile snapshots in the many years to come.

She continues to be a good sleeper, usually in about 4 hour stretches. Although once last week she went 7+ hours between feedings. That said, her mama is starting to feel the cumulative effects of interrupted sleep cycles. Plus, she's so noisy in the nighttime that while she might be catching some zzz's, her mama is laying in bed peeking over at her with every growl, whinny, and cough.

She's still a good eater. During the day she snacks about every 2-3 hours, and in the evenings she likes to eat every hour or so. She latches on by herself, which means I'm mostly hands-free when she eats. I still use the Boppy to prop her up when at home, but am perfectly comfortable to feed without a pillow when we're out and about. She spits up a lot, which is kind of gross. And sometimes I think to myself, "I worked really hard to produce that milk, and I spend a lot of time sitting down so you can eat at your leisure, so don't waste the milk by spitting it back up. Just save it for later or something."

She's 100% in cloth diapers now. We're using both BumGenius and GrowVia brands, and I'm not sure which is my favorite. I think she leaks less with BumGenius, but I like the quick snap-style of the GrowVia. We change her maybe 8 or so times each day. Although she's as gassy as you would expect from her parents, she certainly doesn't poop much, maybe every few days. I'll just assume it's because she's doing such a good job growing!

As for me, I'm still loving motherhood. More than I would have expected. But that means I'm dreading the return to work, which is not what I would have expected. I have six more weeks to stay home and love on my baby girl, but I wish I had a lifetime. I'm definitely more tired than I was the initial weeks, and find myself dragging around the first part of each day. The Bean does not let me sleep in as needed in the morning, waking me with her noises every four minutes, fussing for the Soothie to be placed back in her mouth. But I love laying around in bed with her, even if it means constant REM interruption. If we don't have anything planned, I pretty much spend the first part of the day lounging around- feeding, watching snippets of Private Practice, embroidering, reading, and watching "Francie TV." One thing that likely contributes to my increased fatigue (aside from the 90 degree weather), is my body. I am so over the discomfort of being 20 lbs heavier than normal. I find this body more uncomfortable than I ever found my pregnant body to be. Part of it is that I feel like enough time has passed that I should just magically be back to my pre-preggo self. I got a punch-card pass to the local gym, but have only been once. Mostly because I have been so enjoying taking Francie on long walks, and can't justify going to the gym when I can spend time outdoors. On Sunday I went for my first run (plod) in nearly a year. That shit hurt. My body feels so different - not just out of shape, but heavy in a new way. And my boobs. Don't even get me started on how uncomfortable it is to try and work toward fitness when you have a huge rack filled with milk that you try to strap down so you can jog without getting two black eyes. I know, I know, 10-months-on-10-months-off. But I'm impatient and I'm ready to fit into my old clothes. NOW. In the meantime, I bought a pair of fat jeans from H&M and several long tanks to wear with my maternity leggings. Yes, I recognize the irony - being fat but wearing stretchy pants. Hey, it's the most comfortable to hold in the girth. And just when I'm feeling too fat for my own good, I glance at my baby girl and am so grateful that my body was able to create, carry, nurture, nourish, and grow this precious little being.