Flat Tire, I Quit

"My bike got a flat tire, so I won't be able to make it in at 8 a.m."

"Oh no! What time should we expect you?"

"Actually, I'm not going to be able to make it in. At all. Ever."

That was my fantasy this morning. No, I didn't quit my job, but it sounded like a desirable move at 7 a.m. this morning, especially because I feel near tipping point. Between interrupted sleep, commuting by bike, being fat with no suitable clothing, working fulltime - in a new rotation, being a wife, and a new mom, it's all too much for me. This just isn't sustainable. But I am more or less trapped. I have to finish my fellowship in order to get licensed, which requires four more months of fulltime work. Plus we need the money. I was near tears every day at work last week, feeling inadequate and constantly out of the loop. I'm one step behind at home, and I'm several steps behind at work. It's like I can't win. Unfortunately, this is preventing me from even being able to enjoy the job I previously found stimulating and rewarding. More so, I'm having a difficult time enjoying my evenings at home with my family because I'm so caught up in my own misery that it's hard to be present. I've even gone so far as to see what other employment opportunities are out there, if there's a part-time position somewhere that would sponsor/supervise me to earn my licensure. No such luck. Maybe a restaurant would hire me as a hostess?!?