SLIDER

Friday, August 3, 2012

It Gets Better

At least, a little bit.

I've been a working mama for a full month now. I wouldn't say I'm used to it, per se, as there are good days and bad. And it's hard, without a doubt. Not the crying-every-day-because-I-suck-at-work-and-desperately-miss-my-adorable-baby kind of hard any longer. More like the working-50-hour-weeks-and-never-sleeping-in-and-oh-yeah-I-love-my-sweet-bean-and-she's-so-cute-in-the-morning kind of hard. More like a normal kind of hard.

I spoke with my supervisor at length, and yes indeed, I was/am not performing up to expectations. On the one hand it sucks to be told you suck. On the other hand, it's nice to validate my suspicions, reinforcement for trusting my gut. We had a constructive conversation, and I have concrete things to work toward (spending more time understanding the plethora of medical diagnoses in a patient's medical history and integrating that information into my understanding of the patient from a swallowing and communication standpoint, for example). It feels good to be able to express my anxieties about under-performing, even if it means discussing all the ways in which I blow as an SLP fellow. Then again, if it was easy, I'd be bored already.

But my supervisor apparently has a ruptured ovarian cyst and has been mostly at home sick. She's now officially on medical leave for two more weeks, so I'm kinda getting the shaft. No one else has the time and/or energy to train me in the areas in which I know less (nay, none) so I'm getting punted the patients I know how to evaluate and treat already. So be it. Some days fly by in the blink of an eye, while others are more difficult and I search for other jobs (part-time) in the evenings.

As for bike commuting, I haven't done it every day for a full week yet. I'm biking to work about 3 or maybe 4 times each week. And even on those days Alex will sometimes pick me up after work because we are too impatient for me to get home. It does feel good on the days I bike, but I'm generally so exhausted and running a bit behind schedule that the bike ride is hard and not so relaxing. But if I don't bike I get zero exercise. Zero. Not even a dog walk. The pounds are coming off ever so slowly, if only to be replaced by comfort/relaxation eating in the evenings and on the weekends.

Our summer is busy, with fully booked weekends until Alex starts his new job. It's nice to have fun plans to look forward to, as long as they also include sleeping in. Yakima this weekend for Gretchen's baby shower. Airstream camping next weekend. Bend for Brewfest. Good Dog, Bad Romney walk. And so it goes. Thank God it's Friday night and I just (N Sync harmonizing in the background) got paid.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hover to Pin

 
Designed with ♥ by Nudge Media Design