Politics of Siri

Al came over for dinner the other night. We spoke about the usual random shit - asteroids approaching earth; NPR's This American Life; Peruvian chicken recipes; flea eradication; baby backpacks/carriers; and education, always education (Alex is a teacher, Al worked in Portland Public Schools in 1863, and I, well, I was a student once and therefore an expert, aren't we all?!?).

And we also talked about Siri - did you know she's a bit of a conservative non-feminist? Al had read some article from a couple years ago that said Siri won't tell you where to get an abortion, although she'll help you find a place to dump a dead body or buy a bunch of booze and balloons. True story, we learned first hand.

I had to a bit acquainted with Siri before asking her the Big One. We started out easy, talking about local Thai restaurants, pest control, hair salons, definition of "jurisdiction," the usual. Then I asked her politely about where to get an abortion. She wanted to skirt the issue entirely and send me straight to an Internet search. I asked for Plan B - no such luck. She had no problem recommending gay bars and porn stores, but didn't want to talk to me about exercising my female reproductive rights. She'd ignore the topic and send me to talk to Google, or tell me, "I don't understand what you're asking me."

So now, as I'm scanning through the open Internet windows on my phone in the middle of the night as I lay awake after feeding the baby for the second time already, I'm x-ing out of screens that say "Portland abortion clinics" - and feeling like a teenager that might get caught. I swear I'm not pregnant again, honey. And yes, Bean, I promise you were planned and very much wanted.

But seriously, Siri, get with the times and show some respect for your fellow females. And keep yo laws off my bod.

Also, it's a little funny shouting "abortion abortion abortion" into your phone with your dad sitting next to you.