So I started my new job week before last. Twenty hours per week, Monday through Wednesday. I even changed my Facebook profile. That's legit. The first week was New Employee Orientation. It was a good way to ease me back in to being in the "real" world among adults who speak more than reduplicated syllables. Last week I started to get settled into my new office, get acquainted with the nine million different programs I'll need to use to schedule patients, check email, chart, and do continuing ed. And beginning this upcoming Monday I'll have my first new patient. It sounds like the caseload is a little slow right now, so I guess that means I have a bit of time to get my big girl brain on and remember how to be a professional. Then again, part of the learning curve at the VA has everything to do with the acronyms and the military culture. For example, during orientation, one new employee, who is also a Navy veteran, was talking about women in the military, on the front lines, sexual assault, etc. He said something about how it was difficult to figure getting women on his submarine because of birth. I thought, "Huh, that's weird. Why would a pregnant chick be on a submarine? Don't they get maternity leave?" Turns out the world is berth. Also? There was some mention of how firearms are prohibited on the hospital campus, being federal property and all, which progressed into round-table gun talk, personal rights, etc. The orientation leader asked for a show of hands for how many people liked to hike. At least half of the two dozen new employees raised their hands. Then he asked how many of those hikers carry guns with them. Four people raised their hands. Seriously?!? It has never once crossed my mind to grab my pistol and put it next to my Nalgene in my backpack. Then again, I don't have a pistol. Maybe that's why. So yeah, I've got some learning to do.
I'd also like to take this time to commend myself on my patience. I applied for this job back in October. Interviewed in December. Was offered the position in January. And will start in May. But truth is, it's my dream job (aside from being the Bean's mama, of course) so I was willing to wait. Our bank account, however, has not been nearly as patient. We've got some bills to pay and money to save.
Chris is watching Francie for the next two months until Alex is off for the summer. She's also staying with us. She's like the wife I always wanted. And I don't mean that in a sexist, derogatory way. I mean it as a compliment. She takes very good care of our baby girl. She re-stocks the produce. She picks up after herself (and, admittedly, after us). And she texts us to ask "Can I cook dinner tonight?" As if we'd ever say no. And the Bean loves having her Grammy around. It is SO nice to have an extra pair of helping hands. We will be heartbroken when she goes back to Tahoe. I tried to get them to buy the cute house down the street, but they weren't biting.
You know those optical illusions where you stare at one image, then look at something else and that first image pops out in 3D? Well that's how I feel about the baby's crying. Shit, that sound just keeps ringing through my head. I'm hearing phantom baby cries. Uninterrupted sleep is again a thing of the past. We're back to every 3 hours. Every. Three. Hours. What is she, a newborn? Hah. So we're back to "sleep training," also know as "ignoring her in the middle of the night, despite her desperate wails, by tuning her out with eardrum-shattering white noise." But at least she's my cheerful baby girl again. We're over that two-week period that included nasty diapers, possible teething, and persistent fussiness. I'll take several night wakings to unpleasant daytimes. But what I miss most about sleep PB (pre-Bean) is the freedom to wake up when my own body said. That's why Alex and I have instituted "Sleep-In Days." As in, "Saturday is your Sleep-In Day and Sunday is mine."
It was Mother's Day last week. Alex and the Bean got me a beautiful hanging basket. They also gave me a "me" day, which means I got to run the show - I slept in, Alex did all the baby care-taking, and I got to run whatever "errands" (craft store, fabric store, Home Depot ...) that I wanted. I tried to make a short video of the Bean wishing everyone a Happy "Mama" Day to send to my mama friends, but she foiled my efforts by saying what sounds like "daddy" instead of "mama." Classic. But it also got me thinking more about what makes a "good" parent. Alex thinks it's just about love, but I think it's got to be much much more than that. Respect. Boundaries. Warmth. Structure. Communication.
Alex's recovery from his ACL surgery is progressing right along. Each week he comes home from PT bragging about his improvements, something about "I got 20 more degrees this time!" Like a gold star on his behavior chart. Needless to say, he's much more cheerful now that he can amble around without crutches. But he does complain each night when he has to lock his brace into zero degrees (straight-legged) for sleep.
And also? SOMEone just pooped in the tub. I guess that's her way of getting us to clean the bathroom. It's been on our to-do list, I swear.
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