I'm motivated by this topic at the end of every month - after I calculate our (over)spending and plan ahead for ways to cut back the following month. But then, when I'm all done on the computer rearranging my spread sheets and calculating and re-calculating grand monthly totals, I'm out of energy and totally discouraged by the whole thing.
*****
Several months ago we were at our next door neighbor's house - a young couple, in their early 20s, who rent - and somehow the topic of money came up. Alex and I, in our familiar exacerbated tone, whined about how "we don't know how everyone seems to do it." The house, the cars, the kids, the vacations, the stuff.
Lisa and Phil exchanged knowing looks and said something to the effect of, "that's what we always think about you guys!"
With a bit of reflection, I can only imagine what our life must look like to them - owning our own home, having a small child, me not working for several months, a new fence and patio, a nice big truck - and once they helped us move a brand spankin' new elliptical trainer exercise machine into our upstairs bedroom.
(For the record:
Owning our own home? Thanks to a generous down payment from the in-laws as an "investment," we have a decent monthly mortgage.
Small child? The West Linn-Wilsonville School District affords us great Kaiser benefits, and most of the stuff that the Bean has is thanks to gifts, hand-me-downs, or a modest purchase here and there.
Only Alex working fulltime? I worked on-call while I waited for my half-time VA job to start, so was more or less unemployed for 5 months.
A new fence? 2012 anniversary gift from Al, and labor by Alex + dads.
New patio? 2013 anniversary gift from Al, and labor by Alex + Al.
Nice big truck? Not ours. In-laws went sailing for the summer and needed to store their truck at our place, which we occasionally drove when needing to haul materials for fence, patio (see above).
Elliptical machine? Again, gift from Al.
Yes, our nice-looking life is thanks only to our financially-savvy and generous Baby Boomer parents.)
If only our neighbors - or anyone wondering - knew that we certainly do NOT have it all figured out. And if they were to actually review our monthly budget and spending, they'd be less than impressed. Suffice it to say, anything nice we have or own, was a gift. A very generous gift, likely from our parents, grandparents, or maybe even a sibling. Our bikes though, we bought those. That was all us. And same with the cars. But as you can see, they're more or less pieces of shit.
Alex and I often find ourselves "discussing" (whining about) finances - mostly the general state of being middle class - even more than we used to. Mostly because we just can't seem to make ends meet very comfortably these days, and when we look around at all our peers, it seems like everyone else has it all together. We have developed a song and dance, something to the effect of, "Ugh, why are we always so broke?!?" "I don't understand how we both have Master's degrees and financially sound professions but we can't afford our life?!?" "We have modest wants - a home, a comfortable newer car, why can't we get those things?!?" "Everyone else has new cars, nice furniture, lots of clothes/toys/vacations/insert-consumable-here ..."
*****
I grew up in a household where I started my first bank account in early elementary school, had allowance from a very early age, and rarely got my parents to purchase me anything without having some sort of a financial lecture beforehand. "Money doesn't grow on trees." "I'm not an ATM."
Money is fungible." "Time is money." "Pay now or pay more later." "Choosing UPS over PLU is liking wrecking your Volvo every single year." "You'll never have as much disposable cash as you do in high school and college." You get the picture.
Did this prevent me from becoming the same financial fool as most everyone else in my generation? Not so much (sorry, Dad). But I knew roughly how much money my dad earned when he traded commodities (a lot), how much the Victorian mansion we lived in at the time was worth (a lot), how little he made as a job placement counselor for Portland Public Schools (not much), or that neither he nor my mom worked for several years as they spent down on savings or earnings from various investments. Money was not taboo in my house, and my parents saw the importance of me knowing the cost of in-state vs. private college; how school loans might impact my future; the cost of returning to graduate school vs. keeping the lower paying job I already had; the relative cost of old vs. new cars; that without good health insurance my family could have been bankrupt related to the costs of my mom's cancer treatments. That if the family went to Hawaii for Christmas, we'd have fewer gifts to open, or if I used my allowance on that cute red and navy rugby shirt from Gap, I wouldn't be able to buy the whole Duran Duran album, just the single.
One of my biggest frustrations, when it comes to finances, is that no one talks about it. I don't understand why we can't ask each other how much we earn, share about our car or mortgage payments, disclose our spending habits or shameful shopping debts, or admit when our Baby Boomer parents help us out in major ways. Why do we want to shield our financial life from everyone else, as though it's a private matter rather than a shared, public one. We all make money. We all spend money. Wouldn't it be nice to know one another's financial successes and failures, so that we can learn from them and become a more independent spender, a less consumeristic society?
So in the name of full financial disclosure - albeit with moderate apprehension - here is a breakdown of our current budget.
Money In
We always wish he had more. When Alex and I were more recently DINKs (double-income, no kids), we were bringing home about $5,900 and were more than comfortable, and even able to save money. While I was more or less unemployed and a stay-at-home mom, Alex brought home just $2,700/month. Now, we net about $4,300, and feel a constant squeeze and an inability to save money, let alone pay off our growing credit card bill. Alex earns $2,700/month (after taxes) as a high school English teacher in his 3rd year of teaching, and I net $1600/month (after taxes) for 0.5 FTE work at the VA as a speech-language pathologist in my 2nd year on the job. Our yearly salaries are $42,000 and $60,000, respectively. We can also count on some extra income from my on-call work at Meridian Park, which averages about 8 hours/month at $33/hour, and look forward to somewhere around $3,000 for Alex coaching JV2 boys' soccer this fall. We also rely heavily on that Spring tax return, and purposely claim less on W-2 forms to increase the odds of getting a nice check from the state or feds some April.
Money Out
When we were both graduate students living on parental/school loans, I was basically a budget anorexic. I kept our expenses down so low, and was such a stickler about it. Seriously, I think we spent something like $1,500/month. I really don't know how I did it. During that same era I managed to keep our fabulous Tahoe wedding under our $15,000 budget. Then again, I wasn't on Zoloft yet, so all the anxiety/OCD/disordered/control issues weren't under wraps :) Needless to say, spending has significantly increased since that time.
We wanted to get back on track this year, being that our income was all over the map, and better plan for how we would navigate the changing financial landscape. We started tracking our finances very closely, and this is what I have on record from the previous months:
2013:
January - in 2700, out 3383 (minus bills)
February - in 2700, out 2065 (minus bills)
March - in 2700, out 3471 total
April - in 2700, out1717 (minus bills)
May - in 4300, did not track spending
June - in 4300, out 4526 total
July - in 4300, have not yet totaled out
August - in 4300, did not track spending
An actual breakdown of our detailed budget is as follows:
*****
*****
Lisa and Phil exchanged knowing looks and said something to the effect of, "that's what we always think about you guys!"
With a bit of reflection, I can only imagine what our life must look like to them - owning our own home, having a small child, me not working for several months, a new fence and patio, a nice big truck - and once they helped us move a brand spankin' new elliptical trainer exercise machine into our upstairs bedroom.
(For the record:
Owning our own home? Thanks to a generous down payment from the in-laws as an "investment," we have a decent monthly mortgage.
Small child? The West Linn-Wilsonville School District affords us great Kaiser benefits, and most of the stuff that the Bean has is thanks to gifts, hand-me-downs, or a modest purchase here and there.
Only Alex working fulltime? I worked on-call while I waited for my half-time VA job to start, so was more or less unemployed for 5 months.
A new fence? 2012 anniversary gift from Al, and labor by Alex + dads.
New patio? 2013 anniversary gift from Al, and labor by Alex + Al.
Nice big truck? Not ours. In-laws went sailing for the summer and needed to store their truck at our place, which we occasionally drove when needing to haul materials for fence, patio (see above).
Elliptical machine? Again, gift from Al.
Yes, our nice-looking life is thanks only to our financially-savvy and generous Baby Boomer parents.)
If only our neighbors - or anyone wondering - knew that we certainly do NOT have it all figured out. And if they were to actually review our monthly budget and spending, they'd be less than impressed. Suffice it to say, anything nice we have or own, was a gift. A very generous gift, likely from our parents, grandparents, or maybe even a sibling. Our bikes though, we bought those. That was all us. And same with the cars. But as you can see, they're more or less pieces of shit.
Alex and I often find ourselves "discussing" (whining about) finances - mostly the general state of being middle class - even more than we used to. Mostly because we just can't seem to make ends meet very comfortably these days, and when we look around at all our peers, it seems like everyone else has it all together. We have developed a song and dance, something to the effect of, "Ugh, why are we always so broke?!?" "I don't understand how we both have Master's degrees and financially sound professions but we can't afford our life?!?" "We have modest wants - a home, a comfortable newer car, why can't we get those things?!?" "Everyone else has new cars, nice furniture, lots of clothes/toys/vacations/insert-consumable-here ..."
*****
I grew up in a household where I started my first bank account in early elementary school, had allowance from a very early age, and rarely got my parents to purchase me anything without having some sort of a financial lecture beforehand. "Money doesn't grow on trees." "I'm not an ATM."
Money is fungible." "Time is money." "Pay now or pay more later." "Choosing UPS over PLU is liking wrecking your Volvo every single year." "You'll never have as much disposable cash as you do in high school and college." You get the picture.
Did this prevent me from becoming the same financial fool as most everyone else in my generation? Not so much (sorry, Dad). But I knew roughly how much money my dad earned when he traded commodities (a lot), how much the Victorian mansion we lived in at the time was worth (a lot), how little he made as a job placement counselor for Portland Public Schools (not much), or that neither he nor my mom worked for several years as they spent down on savings or earnings from various investments. Money was not taboo in my house, and my parents saw the importance of me knowing the cost of in-state vs. private college; how school loans might impact my future; the cost of returning to graduate school vs. keeping the lower paying job I already had; the relative cost of old vs. new cars; that without good health insurance my family could have been bankrupt related to the costs of my mom's cancer treatments. That if the family went to Hawaii for Christmas, we'd have fewer gifts to open, or if I used my allowance on that cute red and navy rugby shirt from Gap, I wouldn't be able to buy the whole Duran Duran album, just the single.
One of my biggest frustrations, when it comes to finances, is that no one talks about it. I don't understand why we can't ask each other how much we earn, share about our car or mortgage payments, disclose our spending habits or shameful shopping debts, or admit when our Baby Boomer parents help us out in major ways. Why do we want to shield our financial life from everyone else, as though it's a private matter rather than a shared, public one. We all make money. We all spend money. Wouldn't it be nice to know one another's financial successes and failures, so that we can learn from them and become a more independent spender, a less consumeristic society?
So in the name of full financial disclosure - albeit with moderate apprehension - here is a breakdown of our current budget.
Money In
We always wish he had more. When Alex and I were more recently DINKs (double-income, no kids), we were bringing home about $5,900 and were more than comfortable, and even able to save money. While I was more or less unemployed and a stay-at-home mom, Alex brought home just $2,700/month. Now, we net about $4,300, and feel a constant squeeze and an inability to save money, let alone pay off our growing credit card bill. Alex earns $2,700/month (after taxes) as a high school English teacher in his 3rd year of teaching, and I net $1600/month (after taxes) for 0.5 FTE work at the VA as a speech-language pathologist in my 2nd year on the job. Our yearly salaries are $42,000 and $60,000, respectively. We can also count on some extra income from my on-call work at Meridian Park, which averages about 8 hours/month at $33/hour, and look forward to somewhere around $3,000 for Alex coaching JV2 boys' soccer this fall. We also rely heavily on that Spring tax return, and purposely claim less on W-2 forms to increase the odds of getting a nice check from the state or feds some April.
Money Out
When we were both graduate students living on parental/school loans, I was basically a budget anorexic. I kept our expenses down so low, and was such a stickler about it. Seriously, I think we spent something like $1,500/month. I really don't know how I did it. During that same era I managed to keep our fabulous Tahoe wedding under our $15,000 budget. Then again, I wasn't on Zoloft yet, so all the anxiety/OCD/disordered/control issues weren't under wraps :) Needless to say, spending has significantly increased since that time.
We wanted to get back on track this year, being that our income was all over the map, and better plan for how we would navigate the changing financial landscape. We started tracking our finances very closely, and this is what I have on record from the previous months:
2013:
January - in 2700, out 3383 (minus bills)
February - in 2700, out 2065 (minus bills)
March - in 2700, out 3471 total
April - in 2700, out1717 (minus bills)
May - in 4300, did not track spending
June - in 4300, out 4526 total
July - in 4300, have not yet totaled out
August - in 4300, did not track spending
An actual breakdown of our detailed budget is as follows:
*****
| MONTHLY BUDGET | |||
| Income | |||
| Alex = $2800/month | |||
| Jo = $1600/month | |||
| Total = $4,400/month Expenses |
|||
| IDEAL | CURRENT | ||
| Rent/Mortgage | $1,460.00 | $1,450.00 | |
| Utilities | $250.00 | $250.00 | |
| Health insurance | $- | $- | |
| Car Insurance | $100.00 | $100.00 | |
| Cell Phone | $150.00 | $150.00 | |
| Netflix | $8.00 | $8.00 | |
| Car Payment | $350.00 | $- | |
| Groceries | $500.00 | $400.00 | |
| Gas/Oil | $300.00 | $200.00 | |
| Auto Maintenance | $200.00 | $200.00 | |
| Medical/Health | $50.00 | $40.00 | |
| Childcare | $800.00 | $700.00 | |
| Wallet Money | $200.00 | $200.00 | |
| Baby | $100.00 | $50.00 | |
| Dining/Booze/Food | $100.00 | $50.00 | |
| Entertainment/Gifts/Hobby | $100.00 | $50.00 | |
| Office/Household | $50.00 | $50.00 | |
| House (projects) | $300.00 | $100.00 | |
| Clothing | $100.00 | $- | |
| Personal | $100.00 | $50.00 | |
| Travel | $100.00 | $- | |
| Fitness/Sports | $60.00 | $- | |
| Professional | $50.00 | $- | |
| Housecleaning | $200.00 | $- | |
| Charity | $- | $- | |
| Extra/One-Time | $400.00 | $- | |
| School Loans | $- | $- | (Granny ~$400/mo) |
| OnPoint Debt | $100.00 ( | $3G) | |
| C1 Debt | $- | $100.00 | ($3G) |
| Short-Term Savings | $50.00 | $- | |
| Long-Term Savings | $300.00 | $- | |
| Retirement Savings | $- | $- | (Roth) |
| Monthly Total | $6,378.00 | $4,248.00 |
So, I DARE YOU, what do you earn? What do you spend? What makes you proud about your financial habits? And what makes you ashamed?
P.S.
I totally stopped at Old Navy on the way home from work today - everything was 30% off for their Labor Day sale - I gathered up a bunch of clothes for myself and the Bean, whittled it down to what I thought was more manageable, and went to stand in the ridiculously long line of back-to-school shoppers. I texted Alex to say I might be awhile longer, felt immediately impatient and guilty, and ditched my shopping bag to head home. Needless to say, we've now made it a whole 24 hours without spending any money.
P.S.
I totally stopped at Old Navy on the way home from work today - everything was 30% off for their Labor Day sale - I gathered up a bunch of clothes for myself and the Bean, whittled it down to what I thought was more manageable, and went to stand in the ridiculously long line of back-to-school shoppers. I texted Alex to say I might be awhile longer, felt immediately impatient and guilty, and ditched my shopping bag to head home. Needless to say, we've now made it a whole 24 hours without spending any money.
Kudos to you girl!!
ReplyDeleteI honestly could not tell you everything about our budget in detail, since Nate handles it and I get really anxious when it comes to money. But NO student loans?? Amazing. That is our biggest debt (besides mortgage) and I sort of hate that we both chose to go to private schools, even though we got scholarships and our parents helped us out. Still freaking expensive! Oh well, I like to dream about paying them off but there is just so much else that needs money from our budget;)
And yay for a fellow therapist!! And a 0.5 FTE at that! ;)