The Bean is two years old and would probably really enjoy an egg hunt. But we (I) made a conscious decision this year to forgo the whole Easter extravaganza. On the one hand, holidays are fun, chocolate bunnies taste good, and it's always an excuse for quality family time. But on the other hand, Easter is a Christian holiday. And we aren't Christians. Some people call it a cultural holiday, but what is it we are supposed to be celebrating? The Easter Bunny? Hallmark or Cadbury? Springtime consumerism? I know I sound a bit like a stickinthemud, but it just feels so phony to recognize a holiday - one that essentially defines a religion - that I don't believe in, simply because everyone else is doing it.
And now I sound like Holden Caulfield.
The thing is, I made the decision relatively lightly. Like, "Hey, are we doing Easter?" "Um, I dunno, are we?" "Well, there's no real point. So no, let's not do Easter baskets or anything." But in some ways, it could be kind of a major decision. Now my kid's the one who doesn't know about Easter baskets or the crucifixion. I'm not anti-Easter, per se, but if I'm going to go around celebrating holidays I don't actually believe in, just because I want my family to be culturally competent, than shouldn't I also be celebrating Passover and Chinese New Year and Nowruz? (I had to Google celebrations from other faiths because the truth is, I'm not that culturally competent).
Once Easter Sunday actually rolled around, I was acutely aware of what a minority we were in. My Instagram and Facebook feeds were littered with photos of kids posing with the Easter Bunny, candy-inspired egg hunts, delicious looking brunch and dinner spreads, pastel colored dresses and button-ups, and smiling family portraits. I hadn't realized all these people were Christians. Or are they? Some of them I happen to know are not churchgoers, others might be "C&E Christians," whereas others might "not believe" but "celebrate anyway."
I guess I just don't get it.
Easter is the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Sure, there are some seasonal connotations in there, Spring being all about birth (or re-birth, as in the case with Mr. JC) and what not. If you're a Christian, you believe that Jesus Christ has a unique significance, that he is your Lord and Saviour, is the Son of God, and that he died for your sins. If you believe these things, than Easter is a pretty big deal. Like, the most important part of his story. So to the people who don't believe in these things, what are you doing? Why are you dressed fancy, looking for dyed-eggs, and eating brunch with your pastel-clad family? Why did you choose this day and only this day to attend church? Why do you care about being a Christian now?
Ironically, the only other family at the park on the afternoon of Easter Sunday was a Jewish neighbor. Her son is just a few months older than the Bean. She casually asked if we had any plans, and I informed her that we aren't Christians, so had no plans to recognize the holiday. I commented about how it made me feel a bit like a minority - yeah, I get that she's from an actual group that has been persecuted for their beliefs, whereas I just belong to a nongroup that has nonbeliefs and have never been persecuted - being that everyone else was all aboard the Easter parade. She went on to tell an amusing-but-horrifying story about her family's experience at a friendly play-date/egg-hunt. Her Saturday included a segregated section for the only Jewish toddler to hunt eggs on his own. This came about because she had mentioned that although they were interested in attending the social gathering, they would not participate in the egg-hunt. So the gracious hosts made a "special" egg hunt with "special" eggs labeled with "special" stickers in a "special" area. Away from the Christian kids. By himself. Seriously.
For the record, we're not total scrooges, Francie still got a few goodies in the mail from family, and I had a pair of bunny ears that I made her wear for a minute. And for the record, if we were invited to an egg hunt or had made plans with family in town, I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to joining - but I really don't want to set an example of just going through the motions. I'd be more interested in spending the holiday with people who actually believe in its significance. I'd like to teach my children about religion and culture, to teach them how to be appropriately curious and critical, and then teach them to follow their own beliefs. So if Easter someday becomes a part of our life, it will be for a reason other than "just because everyone else is doing it."
18 years of Henry
1 week ago
Interesting post, Jo. I wanted to chime in because we are non believers in our house, too, but we participate in Easter. I didn't buy Nora an Easter basket because I knew her relatives would buy way too many Easter goodies, but we decorated eggs and even let her attend an Easter egg hunt at Billy's grandparents' church. For me, although Easter is supposed to be the holiest of days in Christianity, most of the symbols associated with it are appropriated from celebrations of spring and renewal that predate Christianity. Even the word "Easter" probably comes from Eostre, a germanic pagan goddess. I know this is how bunnies come into the picture, but it is still a mystery to me why the bunnies lay eggs. Anyway, for us, Easter is a nice excuse to get the family together in the spring, and in our house, to be thankful for the renewal of life that happens this time of year.
ReplyDeleteI do agree, to some extent, with the celebration of Spring and birth and renewal and all that jazz, and we talked about the idea of doing something to that tune maybe on the first day of spring, or something. I'm sure we'll never follow through, because it really is easier to just go along with the cultural norm. But really, that's what got me thinking - how many times do we all just "go along for the ride," without ever thinking twice? And it reminds me what a Christian society we are part of, for better and worse. It also reminds me how homogenous my peer group is. I, too, don't know why the bunnies lay eggs. How do we explain that one??
DeleteThis is totally interesting. I know I can't articulate my thoughts as well as you, but here are a few musings: I'm a Christian. I believe in JC -that he's our Lord and Saviour, is the Son of God, and that he died for our sins... however, I think celebrating his resurrection on a specific day, determined by man - is just as ridiculous as celebrating his birth on a specific day, determined by man (Christmas), and while we're at it why isn't there a holiday signifying his death on the cross, which is highly significant as well... or is there?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you celebrate Christmas don't you, how is celebrating Easter any different? Or valentines day, or mothers day? or _____________. I love Christmas, Easter (not as much), etc., but more so like Liz mentions above, in a sort of kitchy, festive way - or in a way tied more to changing of season, etc.
You don't need, or shouldn't need designated days to come together as a family, to give gifts, and so on - but these days do add an element of fun, and give you an excuse to do things together you normally wouldn't do, dye eggs, decorate trees, hang stockings, eat too much....
Similarly, being a Christian doens't hinge on these days either, every day is significant and everyday you should be showing your thanks for the sacrifice of Christ. "Holiday church goers," in my mind, are bad for business.
As for Christmas, this is sheer hypocrisy on my part. I LOVE Christmas, and for me it's still not a religious holiday. While I recognize its roots in Christianity, for me it's all about my love of drawing on my own memories and feelings about the holiday growing up. It's the hot cocoa by the fire. The cutting down of the tree. The thinking about and making and buying presents. The extended time with family. The PJ's. The ritual of it all. Being someone who does not claim religion, ritual is something I tend to miss in my regular life. I don't share these same nostalgic feelings about Easter. As for other "Hallmark" holidays, I don't know that I do much celebrating. We often don't even acknowledge Valentine's Day, Mother's Day has become important to me only since having a child myself, and I now feel very strongly about the Bean's birthday. I do appreciate that holidays, across cultures and religions, tend to follow a sort of seasonal flow. And it makes sense in our geographically spread out society that we re-connect with family at least seasonally. I like your point about not needing these days to "celebrate," nor needing to celebrate on only these days. Easter, particularly, just has me thinking about holidays and religion. And it particularly causes me to question why I/so many people jump along for the ride - getting involved in the kitschy, festive ways - for mostly Christian-based events, and not for the other religions/cultures. Especially when we claim to be a non-Christian country. Granted, some 3/4 of the populations identifies as Christian. And to that tune, what makes them a Christian? Their belief in JC? Their day to day practices? Their twice yearly church attendance? I like to celebrate as much as the next person, I just wish my celebrating was a bit more diverse and honoring of multiple belief systems. I suppose I'm not anti-Easter as much as I am pro-all-holidays.
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