Stuff Jo Knows ...: (34 Months) - 2 Years & 10 Months

34 months = 2 years and 10 months

This little lady loves to sing and dance. She's difficult to get to perform on command, but if she initiates, she certainly likes to put on a show. I wouldn't mind if she got some new material, though. I'm thinking "Home" a la Jorge and Alexa Navarez.

She wants to be "twins" with mama and daddy. Is very interested in things that are alike, particularly in the context of what we're wearing. "We both wearing boots, mama. My gloves like you. We twins."

She has an insatiable appetite for parental attention - "Hey mama. Hey mama. Hey mamadaddy. Hey mama. Hey daddy. Hey mamadaddy."

She regularly throws tantrums after nap. "I was cryin'. I just wakin' up," she'll explain later.

She's defiant - "NO!" In your face defiant. Holding your gaze defiant. Testing her mama defiant.

And bossy - "Come here. Sit here. Do this. Watch me."

She hits and she throws tantrums. But only with mama and daddy.

She's learning some emotional regulation techniques, such as 'taking a lap' to calm her body.

I like the way she calls granola "g'ola."

She has an insatiable appetite the past couple weeks. She must be growing.

She wakes up multiple times most nights. She sneaks into our bedroom all covert and stares at us creepy-style until we wake up and realize she's silently watching us. We then have to walk her back to her room and "fix my blanket" and she'll go right back to sleep. When questioned about the nightstalking, she sometimes says she just wants to make sure we're there. Sometimes she endorses being afraid of the dark. But more often then not she mentions something about "cows in my room."

She has an incredible sense of smell - particularly for food/drink of which she is not partaking in. See quotes below.

She's interested in dressing herself. But only if we're in a hurry.

There have been a few recent occasions of her purposefully peeing on the floor in her room. Usually when she's not getting what she wants. I'm crossing my fingers this isn't a sign of sociopathy.

She's definitely honing her negotiating skills.

We still would never describe her as "high energy," but she has what I like to describe as "micro energy" that I strongly associate with female qualities. She's not a kid who is running around pulling every toy out or knocking things off shelves or climbing up things she shouldn't. But she also doesn't like to be still and confined or told what to do. Rather, she's constantly busy in a smaller way, like picking up a baby, giving it pat-pats, changing its diaper, laying it down for a nap, talking with us, and doing this on repeat. All the while she wants us to pay her undivided attention. She never ever wants to be left alone to do her own thing, she wants us to bear witness to every singular move she makes. She is exhausting in the way that requires insatiable attention, constant bargaining, lots of teaching/explaining, and very few independent play breaks. She's not physically exhausting, she's socially-emotionally exhausting. She's a "good kid," without a doubt, and will likely to very very well in the school setting. She knows to save all her naughty behavior for home :)

On the other hand, she is SO sweet and caring. She can put all the manipulative toddler bullshit behind her with the drop of a hat if a situation demands she be kind. As in, if she were being a little beeatch and not listening and then I were to slice my finger on a knife or something, she would immediately go into nurse mode, wanting to get a tissue and bandaid, give kisses, etc. She's definitely got the caregiver traits (that skipped a generation in my family). I'm told she's this way at school, too, concerned about the kids who are crying or in trouble, offering toys to make them feel better.

As for me, I'm fully aware that I was a far better baby-mama than toddler-mama to this Bean. Part of it is rooted in whatever is going on with me these days, but part of it is the need for constant attention is so.draining. It often leaves me with a feeling of "I just can't do anything to satisfy her." We are our best mother-daughter combo if we are out and about, and regularly hit up coffee shops, the Children's Museum, and errands (I'm embarassed to admit that the Bean loves Target). On the days I'm able to practice what I've come to call "mindful mothering," where I have the emotional resources to minimize expectations, go with the flow, and just be present in the moment, we have much smoother seeming days.

And they say 3 is harder ...

Quotable Quotes:

Francie: "Cashews are like teeter-totters."

Mama: "Why?"

F: "Because they bounce."

Holding my head/neck against her chest when putting her down for a nap:

"I'm going to lock you"

She's got a nose for what other people are eating or drinking ...

"You smell funny. You smell like g'ola. No, chocolate"

Francie: "What you eatin' mama?

Me: "Nothing."

F: "I smell something on you."

M: "I just ate some banana ... and chocolate."

Francie: "Daddy? You was in the basement?

Alex: "Yeah I was. Why do you ask?"

F: "You smell like you was in the basement. What you doin' down der?"

Pointing to her face:

"I have a little zit. That makes me a mommy."

Me: "You wake up really early, don't you?!?"

Francie, smiling: "Yeah, I want some 'ttention."

"Look at me, mommy, watch me, mommy!"

While eating a granola bar:

"Usually chocolate is for grown-ups. But just a little is okay. If we eat too much it makes our bodies feel bad. But just a little makes our bodies feel good."

"I like the noise of rain."

Alex: "You know you're my favorite person in the whole world."

Francie: "Yeah."

Alex: "You know that?"

Francie: "Yeah."

Alex: "Who's your favorite person?"

Francie: "Mama."

Beebee: "Shall we go to the park?"

Francie: "No. Let's stay here and eat."

"Mom, I've got a poop on board."

Francie: "Why you so sad?"

Mama: "Because I don't know what I want in this life."

F: "But you do."

M: "I'm not sure if I want to be married. Or that I'm good as a mama."

F: "But you are married. You are mama."

She's still learning the fine art of compliments:
Me, coming downstairs in my running clothes.
Francie: "Mama, you look sexy."
Me: "Haha, thanks."
Francie, then patting my stomach: "Mama, that look like your baby."

Overheard while getting ready in the morning:
Alex: "Francie, you can touch my butt if you want but please don't close the door to do it."

She's obsessed with all things "pregnick" and babies. It's still unclear whether she wants me to grow her a baby brother or sister, or whether she wants to just jump on that bandwagon herself.