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Monday, April 18, 2016

(Camino) - 1 Month Countdown

T minus one month! Until my dad and I fly out on a red-eye to Block Island (via New York city, a rental car, then ferry ride) to meet my new niece and celebrate my big brother's 40th birthday! A few nights back east, and then another red-eye to Madrid and then Leon, Spain to walk a small portion of the Camino de Santiago.

My mind has started to be filled regularly with thoughts of the Camino - what to bring, how to prepare physically, taking good care of my feet, getting Alex versed in house-management and bill pays, his parents set up to manage the Bean's schedule, creative goodies to leave behind for the family, how to manage technology and communication while abroad, strategies to stave off anxiety (especially if I get pregnant before then; I'm a devoted follower of Murphy's Law), making packing lists and to-do lists and checking them twice.

I am excited about the adventure, but mostly just neurotic. Even before short trips I like to get all my little duckies in a row. In this case, I feel like I need to get most of my life in order before embarking on such distant and lengthy travel away from my job and my house and my husband and my daughter and essentially everything that has become "home" to me. Don't get me wrong, I love change. But I also like to have all my papers filed, bills paid, bank accounts reconciled, laundry washed and folded and put away, every craft or writing idea I've ever had started and ideally finished, and in a dream world even have all my technology updated and organized. The thing is, I take all my anxiety out on my belongings, trying to get them in some exact order, rather than actually being mindful that my nerves are related to my fear of flying and my separation anxiety. But I think it's a pretty innocent way to exercise some (false) control, and it always feels reeeeeeally good to come home to a clean house/office/bedroom/head.

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