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Friday, April 15, 2016

(Stuff Jo Writes) - Portland Moms Blog: Secondary Infertility and What to Say When You're Trying to Conceive

When I shared my most recent PMB piece on FB, I commented about how Alannis might think it ironic - the fact that my article on infertility posted the very same day I decided to re-embark on the fertility evaluation process, finally completing the HSG exam that was first recommended last July.

This post started in response to the myriad of "what not to say to ..." articles that inundate my social media/mommy-blogger feeds. I've grown weary of other people dictating what we should and should not say to various subgroups of people. I'm all for being sensitive and politically correct, in the name of respect, but only to a certain point. If someone means well, and they've spoken somewhat out of turn, or said something that happened to offend, instead of making gross generalizations of what's appropriate and what's not, how about we seize the teaching opportunity and share our individual experiences, you know?

I was also thinking about the story from an angle of, "when people stop asking you about having another child." The Bean is so old now that people don't even inquire about our family plans anymore. I'd prefer people ask questions and make comments, generating candid conversation about real life, rather than tiptoe on eggshells for fear of making me aware of something I'm already starkly aware of. It reminds me of how awkward people were following my mom's death, like, don't mention Mother's Day, or she'll remember that she doesn't have a mom and collapse into tears. Well guess what, folks, I'm pretty much constantly aware that my mom is gone, that my uterus is hostile, and that my Only Child is the cutest one on the block, if not the whole universe. So go ahead and say speak whatever is on your mind, whether or not it might be interpreted as rude, and let's have ourselves an interesting chat.



Secondary Infertility and What to Say When You’re Trying to Conceive


The Internet is full of “expert” advice about how to sensitively talk, or not talk to your friends and loved ones about reproductive health, family size, and secondary infertility. But what’s more annoying than those asking ignorant questions or making obtuse comments is when people stop talking to you all together about your dreams, feelings, or struggles related to your family plans for fear they will offend or upset you.
Trying To Conceive, Secondary InfertilitySo instead of ordering people what NOT to say to someone with infertility, let’s drop the world-revolves-around-me mentality and empower ourselves with better responses. Like I tell my four-year-old daughter, “you’re the boss of your own body.”

To read the rest of the article, click here.

28 comments:

  1. Great article! My mother in law struggled with secondary infertility and she said the hardest part was when Joe was a little older and everyone assumed she only wanted one child. The comments about how sad her kid must be, or what a lonely childhood he has were difficult to navigate. My sis went through the full year of trying to conceive and fielding questions similar to the ones you mentioned in your article was tough for her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a great and inspiring story! I was married for seven years without any child, because of this my husband start acting strange, coming home lately and not spending time with me any more and he divorced me. So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life miserable for me. until i came across a friend who told me about DR ODION from the Internet, how he has helped a lot of women with this similar problems that i am going through so i contacted him on: (drodion60@yandex.com) and explained to him. he told me all what to provide before he could cast a reunite spell to bring back my husband which i did and he sent a powerful prayer which i had to say at mid night while he cast the love spell. It was a miracle, 24 hours later my one and only husband came back to me and apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,i quickly call DR ODION and told him what was going on at that moment and he also prepared and sent me a herbal medicine which he said it will cure every unwanted diseases or infections that has been stopping me from conceiving then instructed me on how to use it before meeting with my husband. Behold after using this native herbs and root, few weeks later i started feeling pregnancy signs all over me, truly i was pregnant i just gave birth to a baby boy on the 1st of this month. I Vow to let the whole world know about DR ODION for saving my relationship and for also giving me children i can proudly call my own today. For any woman who think it impossible, here is an opportunity for you to smile and bring happiness to your family kindly contact DR ODION via Email on: (drodion60@yandex.com).  or WhatsApp him via +2349060503921 Indeed, he is a God sent to bring back lost lovers and bring you happiness

      Delete
    2. What a great and inspiring story! I was married for seven years without any child, because of this my husband start acting strange, coming home lately and not spending time with me any more and he divorced me. So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life miserable for me. until i came across a friend who told me about DR ODION from the Internet, how he has helped a lot of women with this similar problems that i am going through so i contacted him on: (drodion60@yandex.com) and explained to him. he told me all what to provide before he could cast a reunite spell to bring back my husband which i did and he sent a powerful prayer which i had to say at mid night while he cast the love spell. It was a miracle, 24 hours later my one and only husband came back to me and apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,i quickly call DR ODION and told him what was going on at that moment and he also prepared and sent me a herbal medicine which he said it will cure every unwanted diseases or infections that has been stopping me from conceiving then instructed me on how to use it before meeting with my husband. Behold after using this native herbs and root, few weeks later i started feeling pregnancy signs all over me, truly i was pregnant i just gave birth to a baby boy on the 1st of this month. I Vow to let the whole world know about DR ODION for saving my relationship and for also giving me children i can proudly call my own today. For any woman who think it impossible, here is an opportunity for you to smile and bring happiness to your family kindly contact DR ODION via Email on: (drodion60@yandex.com).  or WhatsApp him via +2349060503921 Indeed, he is a God sent to bring back lost lovers and bring you happiness

      Delete
    3. I was diagnosed of herpes 3 years, and ever since then i have been taking treatment to prevent outbreaks, burning and blisters, but there was no improvement until i came across testimonies of Dr. VOODOO on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then i contacted him. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which i took according to his instructions for up to 2 weeks. After completing the medication i went back to my doctor for another test and the virus was all gone and i was completely cured, since then i have not had any signs of outbreak. I'm so filled with joy. With herbal medication Herpes Virus is 100% curable. I refer Dr VOODOO to everyone out there with the virus Email: voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com Add Dr voodoo on whatsApp +2348140120719

      Delete
  2. I was diagnosed with poor ovarian reserve and very bad prognosis of having a baby with my own eggs. I was even given the option to consider donor eggs. That was around july 2014. I was absolutely devastated with the news and I arranged an IVF for November 2014 and it failed also, given that I had nothing to lose, I contacted ( agbazara@gmail.com ) i meet online and he send me his herbal product,. Believe it or not... I am already pregnant within few after his help. contact him today with any kind of problem and be happy like me on:

    agbazara@gmail.com OR call +2348104102662

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am regular reader of your blog and no doubt it all stuff is awesome. The best thing about your sharing and posting is that you always provide content that is helpful for both the newbie and experts.Fertility Evaluation

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don’t think of anything else just contact priest eka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Eka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::

    1. Fibroid, Asthma, All STD, sinus infection, unexplain miscarriage

    2.High Blood Pressure (herbs to reduce your BP within 7days)

    3. Infection, regular body pains (yeast infection),urine tract infection.

    4. Blockage from the fallopian Tube, Hepatitis

    5. Cyst from the ovaries, PCOS

    6. Unpleasant smell from the virginal, virginal itching

    7. Irregular menstruation

    8. Weakness of the penis (not able to have sex with your partner or inability to satisfy your partner sexually)

    9. Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.

    10. Infertility for easy Conception…….

    11. Skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..

    Simply contact the spiritualist DrEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to share this great testimony to the world on how Dr VOODOO cure me from HSV1&2 with his herbs, I was nervous when i first contact him about the cure for HSV but i decided to give him a try because i was desperate to get cured and be free from HSV. Dr VOODOO prepared the remedy and sent it to me through UPS,which I use just the way Dr VOODOO instructed me and thank God today I am a beneficiary to this cure and I went back to the hospital after 7 days of taking the herbs and I tested HSV1&2 Negative. So I will tell you all who are looking for a cure to his/her HSV1&2 that Dr VOODOO took research before he could finally get the solution to it and a lot of people are benefiting from him right now. He also cured my friend from HPV. Dr VOODOO heals with natural herbs. Please I urge you to contact him now through his email address: voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com or call and WhatsApp him on +2348140120719. He is capable of curing HIV/AIDS, HERPES, HPV, HSV1&2, CANCER of all kinds, DIABETES and so many other infections.

      Delete
  5. I believe God would make you fertile when he pleases. I am so happy to say this. I have suffered from infertility for 6 years of my marriage. I have gone to so many therapy, taken so many medication I lost count of medication i took. but my colleague at the office introduced me to mother Iya, about her herbal remedy, her type of medication and after using it , its effectiveness. after taking it for 1week, I conceived and I gave birth to my little boy, he is 3years old now and I am pregnant again big thanks to colleague for introducing me Mother Iya you can contact at her on nativeiyabasira@yahoo.com and +441133201124, if you do seek permanent solution as well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When you’re used to the bottom falling out, it’s impossible to relax. But I managed to cure my infertility and get pregnant with this method => http://infertilityinwomen.com
    I was in a state of panic for my entire pregnancy. I was envious of other women who got pregnant easily or would say things like, “We are trying for a June baby because that’s when my vacation time is.” What kind of magical world is fertility?! And yet when I was in a waiting room at my OB’s office, I was just another pregnant lady. No one had any idea how long it took for me to get there.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great stuff. Nowadays, the infertility problem increases day by day due to our habitats. To overcome this intake healthy food and better consult with the best lady gynecology doctor in nellore or in near by locations.

    ReplyDelete

  8. I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years of been married. My husband and I have been seeing fertility specialist We have done our best but no luck,My husband has a sperm count which goes up and down,My friend recommended a pregnancy product to me of Iya Hindi root and herbs; I applied all the methods and technique step by step as mention in the Herbs. Within 2 weeks i am pregnant naturally without any medicine,If you looking for natural pregnancy without medicine you can use this: hindinative@yahoo.com .or WhatsApp.+19145295224 .




    If you're pregnant, trying to Conceive or would love some advice in general about pregnancy, labour, birth and aftercare, please click on the link,http://iyahindirootandherbs.website .all prayer must be answered with the help of iya Hindi.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You need help to GET PREGNANT? contact infertility home on this email (infertilityspellhome@gmail.com), i am here to share my testimony on HOW I CONCEIVE my baby. i have been married to my husband for 11 years without no issue.i had problems with my in-laws even my husband started to have new affairs aside our marriage. it was a very terrible thing to bear. i became a laughing stock among my pear, i prayed and fasted and nothing happened, been to many doctors and yet my case remain the same, i was now seen as always unhappy.i was even ready to pack out of my marital home and stay on my own because my husband was not given me any attention that i needed from him. i decided to focus on my job and try to live happy on my own. on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man who infertility helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mom with two son. words will not be enough to explained what this man did for me. i am a happy mother,i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him. This is the solution to every single mother around the globe. distance is not a barrier, he will surely make your dreams come trough. contact him today via email: infertilityspellhome@gmail.com or WHATSAPP [+2349031111198

    ReplyDelete
  10. What a great and inspiring story! I was married for seven years without any child, because of this my husband start acting strange, coming home lately and not spending time with me any more and he divorced me. So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life miserable for me. until i came across a friend who told me about DR ODION from the Internet, how he has helped a lot of women with this similar problems that i am going through so i contacted him on: (drodion60@yandex.com) and explained to him. he told me all what to provide before he could cast a reunite spell to bring back my husband which i did and he sent a powerful prayer which i had to say at mid night while he cast the love spell. It was a miracle, 24 hours later my one and only husband came back to me and apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,i quickly call DR ODION and told him what was going on at that moment and he also prepared and sent me a herbal medicine which he said it will cure every unwanted diseases or infections that has been stopping me from conceiving then instructed me on how to use it before meeting with my husband. Behold after using this native herbs and root, few weeks later i started feeling pregnancy signs all over me, truly i was pregnant i just gave birth to a baby boy on the 1st of this month. I Vow to let the whole world know about DR ODION for saving my relationship and for also giving me children i can proudly call my own today. For any woman who think it impossible, here is an opportunity for you to smile and bring happiness to your family kindly contact DR ODION via Email on: (drodion60@yandex.com).  or WhatsApp him via +2349060503921 Indeed, he is a God sent to bring back lost lovers and bring you happiness

    ReplyDelete
  11. With the help of a man called Dr.Ogbes I was able to get pregnant. i'm 56years of age, it was really difficult for me to pregnant though my husband loves me but it was really hurting me not having my own child but after many years I came across Dr.Ogbes whose email address is Landofanswer@hotmail.com or you reach him direct on his cell phone number +2347050270227 he told me he is going to send me a Herbs for me to drink, and will fall pregnant a week after drinking the Herbs i'm 7months pregnant now and also I will like to advice everyone looking for help to get pregnant to contact this very man via his email address at Landofanswer@hotmail.com or call him on his cell phone number +2347050270227.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Best male infertility treatment in Punjab is recommended to be taken from Dr. Sumita Sofat Hospital. Get the treatment with advanced and modern techniques to achieve your dream of having a biological baby.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Do you need help to solve your infertility problem or get
    pregnant? contact Dr. ATEKHA in this email
    (DRATEKHA99@GMAIL.COM)
    i have been trying 5 years to get pregnant and needed help! I have gone to
    the doctors, but still nothing. The doctor said that my husband and I are well and that I do not know who else to turn to. Until one day my friend
    introduce myself to this great sorceress who helped her recover her
    lost husband with the love spell and also got her pregnant, so
    He decided to contact this sorceress Dr.ATEKHA in his email
    (DRATEKHA99@GMAIL.COM) After the interaction with him instructed
    about what to do, after that, I should have sex with my husband or
    any man that I love in this world, and I did, in the next few months
    I went to a checkup and my doctor confirmed that I am 2 weeks pregnant
    of two babies. I'm so happy!! if you also need help getting pregnant or
    If you need to recover your ex, contact DR ATEKHA through your email address (DRATEKHA99@GMAIL.COM) Or you can also contact us through whatsapp at +2348139747402:.
    I had to share this testimony because I know there are people who need help..
    thanks

    ReplyDelete
  14. I got cured from PCOS and got pregnant after 8 years of marriage using Dr. Ogbes herbs. Contact Dr. Ogbes today on Landofanswer@hotmail.com or write him here on face book Pregnancy Care. i got pregnant after using the herbal for 21 days. or WhatsApp +2347050270227

    ReplyDelete
  15. With the help of a man called Dr.Ogbes I was able to get pregnant. i'm 56years of age, it was really difficult for me to pregnant though my husband loves me but it was really hurting me not having my own child but after many years I came across Dr.Ogbes whose email address is Landofanswer@hotmail.com or you reach him direct on his cell phone number +2347050270227 he told me he is going to send me a Herbs for me to drink, and will fall pregnant a week after drinking the Herbs i'm 7months pregnant now and also I will like to advice everyone looking for help to get pregnant to contact this very man via his email address at Landofanswer@hotmail.com or call him on his cell phone number +2347050270227.

    ReplyDelete
  16. With the help of a man called Dr.Ogbes I was able to get pregnant. i'm 56years of age, it was really difficult for me to pregnant though my husband loves me but it was really hurting me not having my own child but after many years I came across Dr.Ogbes whose email address is Landofanswer@hotmail.com or you reach him direct on his cell phone number +2347050270227 he told me he is going to send me a Herbs for me to drink, and will fall pregnant a week after drinking the Herbs i'm 7months pregnant now and also I will like to advice everyone looking for help to get pregnant to contact this very man via his email address at Landofanswer@hotmail.com or call him on his cell phone number +2347050270227.

    ReplyDelete
  17. After many years of marriage with a wonderful husband no child until God use Dr.Ogbes to help me with his roots and herbs , first i thought the testimonies i see about Dr.Ogbes how he help women to conceive was not real but now i have confirm it my self with full assurance there is nothing God can not do thank you once again Dr.Ogbes for your help.you can email him or call via>>> landofanswer@gmail.com or call +2347050270227.

    ReplyDelete
  18. An amazing testimony on on how i conceive, also cure from fibroid, i wonder why people still don't believe that roots and herbs are very essential and fruitful in different aspect, especially when you can't conceive and bear children. I am a living witness because I tried all I could to be pregnant but all to no avail, on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across testimonies of lot of women who Priest Babaka has helped with his native herbs to conceive. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life so I emailed Priest Babaka, and he told me what to do which i did, after which he sent me some roots and herbs syrup and gave me step by step guild lines on how and when to have sex with my man. I missed my menstrual flow within a short period of taking it, and the doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. I am very glad to tell the world that I just put to bed a bouncing baby boy last week. Contact Priest Babaka for your own testimony via Email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com Or Facebook at priest.babaka

    ReplyDelete
  19. Good day, I have to share my testimony to the world because i don’t know who it might be helpful to, I know my comment is not related to the discussion here but i only want to use this opportunity to share the testimony to friends here too, My name is Mrs Helene am 35 years old i got married at the age of 27 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail, i cry and cry seeking for help, i discussed it with my best friend Alicia and she promise to help me. She told me of a man called Dr. Fayosa she told me he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot solve and she told me how he has help countless number of people in restoring their relationship,

    I was really convince, I quickly contacted his email address at Fayosasolusionhome@gmail.com, I explain all my problem to him, he told me that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately, He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after 3days my husband will come back to me and start begging and it really happen as he said, i was very surprise, this is so amazing, To God be the glory our relationship is now very tight and we both live happily again, If you having similar problem, Email: Fayosasolusionhome@gmail.com or directly on whats-app +2348151918774

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  21. I never thought that there will be a miracle on the internet until i came in contact with Priest Babaka, finally i made it with his help, with his spiritual power which was recommended by a lady in baby center he help before, i never believe it was real until i confirm it now because i have tried so many things to make sure i get pregnant but no luck, immediately i contact him. he did some spiritual prayers and send me a medicine which i took, i got pregnant three weeks after, and i now have a son to show. thank you so much priest and i recommend Priest Babaka for everyone out there that is willing to have a child of her own out there. contact him for help too he is real and powerful, i have confirmed it, contact him on email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hello everyone and Alex Lome from Ireland am here to testify about the good job of Dr Fayosa My girlfriend that left me few months ago after a little misunderstanding between us came back to me last night crying for me to take her back, After 3 year relationship with my girlfriend, she changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, she would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time, she stopped answering my calls and my Email and she stopped seeing me regularly, I then started seeing her with different boys several times but every time she would say that she love me and that she needed some time to think about our relationship, But cannot stop thinking about her so i decided to go online and i saw so many good talk about this spell caster called Dr Fayosa and i contact him and explain my problems to him, He cast a love spell for me and after 48hours, my girlfriend came back to me and started begging me to forgive her, we moved in together after a few months and she was more open to me than before and she started spending more time with me than her friends, We are happy together with a son, Ever since Dr Fayosa helped me, my Girlfriend is so faithful and closer to me than before, If you need any kind of spiritual help you can contact him through Email: (Fayosasolusionhome@gmail.com) Or directly on whats-app +2348151918774 for fast response

    ReplyDelete
  23. My Experience from Uk. Married for 4 years with infertility, my journey has ended with the help of Dr Oyama. I have joined many infertility journey blogs online just to have a comforted heart over my problem and this has helped me to find the right man to help me cure this devastating problem. As a patient of endometriosis stage 3, it was really difficult to have a child but with the help of Oyama I got natural herbs and conceived within weeks of herbal treatment and before I knew it, I was finally pregnant. I never believed it was possible after 9 years of marriage. Thanks to everyone who has helped me both mentally and emotionally through this journey Oyama solved my problem with his natural herbs and I promise to manifest his work to other people and friends. Whatsapp Message/Call him on +2348108264684 and Email Oyama at: droyamasolutiontemple@gmail.com    Visit his Page  @Oyamaherbs    

























    My Experience from Uk. Married for 4 years with infertility, my journey has ended with the help of Dr Oyama. I have joined many infertility journey blogs online just to have a comforted heart over my problem and this has helped me to find the right man to help me cure this devastating problem. As a patient of endometriosis stage 3, it was really difficult to have a child but with the help of Oyama I got natural herbs and conceived within weeks of herbal treatment and before I knew it, I was finally pregnant. I never believed it was possible after 9 years of marriage. Thanks to everyone who has helped me both mentally and emotionally through this journey Oyama solved my problem with his natural herbs and I promise to manifest his work to other people and friends. Whatsapp Message/Call him on +2348108264684 and Email Oyama at: droyamasolutiontemple@gmail.com    Visit his Page  @Oyamaherbs    

    ReplyDelete
  24. A little while ago my boyfriend and I broke up, I was devastated, I went online and found some testimonies about a love caster Dr Fayosa who had helped some people bring their lovers back to them, I thought it was a scam at first but after reading up more about it, I decided to try it out, I contacted Dr Fayosa to help me reunite my ex boyfriend and me and he told me that I should wait for my boyfriend to come back to me within 48hrs after the spell has be done, The next day my boyfriend texted me begging me to take him back, Now we are back together and we are happy again, If I didn’t see those testimonies, I would never have known something like this was possible, That’s why I decided to share my testimony so that someone else who needs this can contact him also No fear of, scam or anything, contact him through Email: Fayosasolusionhome@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348151918774

    ReplyDelete

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