The Bean has been INCREDIBLY clingy, in a way she really never has been with me.
I asked her and she said she was worried I wouldn't come home.
"Mama, you don't have to go with Beebee if you don't want. You can stay here with us."
In an effort to quell both my own anxiety and remain more or less omnipresent in her day-to-day life, I've spent the past month-plus obsessively putting together a "Camino advent," a la the shoe holder advent from Beebe at Christmas. In other words, separation anxiety breeds creativity.
I pored over Pinterest for ideas – I didn’t really want to do just 3+ weeks of material goodies. We definitely don’t need any more “stuff,” nor did I necessarily want to invest that kind of money. Turns out, I spent way more than I would have anticipated (thanks again, anxiety), but was oh-so-pleased with the final product.
The “Camino Advent” was quite a process, and I spent too much time thinking about it, mapping it out, making things, buying things, wrapping things, etc. But I thoroughly enjoyed the process, and it was an excellent outlet for all my pent-up neurotic energy in preparing both for leaving my VA job and embarking on this transcontinental adventure with my dad.
First, I brainstormed ideas for daily surprises and purchased a clear plastic 24-pocket shoe holder from The Container Store. I justified this purchase with the notion that Francie could then use this on the back of her bedroom door to store various toys and miscellanea.
For Alex, I made a list of “24 Things I Love and Will Miss About You.” I then wrote each of these love notes on a separate business card-sized notecard (Papersource), put it in a tiny envelope (also, Papersource), marked the date to be opened, and placed one card in each of the 24 shoeholder pockets.
For Francine, the process was more elaborate, and I changed my mind many a times. I also ended up giving more toy/craft/material gifts than I originally intended (thanks, for the most part, to my setting aside many of the gifts she received at her 4th birthday party). Once I had my ideas mapped out by date, I set to work obtaining all the goodies, wrapping some of them, writing notes/instructions for others, adding dates for intended opening, and putting it all together in the shoeholder. I also wanted to keep this secret, so mostly worked on the project during my solo Thursday mornings or during naptimes. Fortunately Alex doesn’t pay much attention to the office, and isnt one for snooping around. Here is a chart of the final product:
5/18: family dinner to give Camino map by Beebee (my dad enlarged a map of a portion of the Camino that we’ll be walking along, mounted this on foamcore, and painted ‘Where’s Mama’?; I cut out photos of Beebee and my faces and glued them to thumbtacks so the family could move us along as we walk),
“selfie” dolls (I spent a ridiculous amount of money to get plush dolls made to look like Francine and me, so we’d never have to be apart!),
"Camino Advent” (the clear plastic 24-pocket holder dated with a daily surprise)
5/19: countdown chain – I bought a pretty world map from Paper Source and cut 25 strips to loop together, with instructions to tear one loop off every morning and together we’ll tear the last loop when I’m home
5/20: books - a series of three books, by Audrey Penn, the first called “The Kissing Hand,” that I read about as being useful to help kids cope with missing or separation
5/21: Elsa cape – I made this out of some sparkly fabric
5/22: “Wherever You Go” reading video – I videotaped myself on the Mac reading one of my favorite books to Francie, and then saved the video file on the computer desktop
5/23: write-on letter cards – I think I re-gifted this learning toy from some other occasion
5/24: Forest Park book – we already owned this, but I wrapped it with a note to take daddy on a hike like mama is on with her daddy; + Spanish wine for Paul and Chris
5/25: $10 with instructions to take Mimi and Papa out for a coffee date
5/26: Frozen sunnies
5/27: homeless bags – I collected several different items such as socks, soap, toothbrushes, food, water bottles, candy, etc., with instructions for Francie to get a grown-up’s help to organize these items into bags and to give them to the people we often see on the street corner, a lesson in kindness; $20 gift card to Hair of the Dog for Alex
5/28: “Let It Go” song audio + dress – I played “Let It Go” on Francie’s CD player and audiotaped myself singing along, and then also tried desperately to make a long “Elsa dress,” but it will need Mimi’s help
5/29: Lion King CD
5/30: donate dress-up stuff to school – another lesson in kindness and giving
5/31: gum x2 packs
6/1: “Olivia” book reading video + 2x nighttime meditations audio - I audio recorded myself reading some kid oriented nighttime sleep/meditation scripts, which we started doing recently
6/2: $20 gift card to Salt & Straw
6/3: library card with instructions for a story time at Capital Hill Library
6/4: swim coverup and an activity idea to take daddy swimming at SWCC
6/5: cookie mix – to bake cookies with Mimi for the mail delivery person
6/6: puzzle – I saved one over from her birthday
6/7: videos of me singing “You Are My Sunshine” and “I’ll Love Your Forever” and a new hat to keep her head from getting burned in the ‘sunshine’
6/8: bead kit – saved over from her 4th birthday party
6/9: post-it notes and stickers – re-gift
6/10: necklace and bows – re-gift, again
6/11: stamp set to make me a “welcome home” sign – also a re-gift
6/12: me! (late, late at night)
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