(Stuff Jo Writes) - Portland Moms Blog and "Creative Ways to Manage Separation"

I wrote this post in anticipation of my current trip on the Camino. When I was deciding whether or not to take this trip, I couldn't find a whole lot online about mothers who have taken long trips. Fortunately, my brain gets very neurotic when I'm anxious, and it breeds creativity.  

 

Travel Without Kids: Creative Ways to Manage Separation

by Joanna Close on June 3, 2016 in Family, Parenting, Travel

If your family is anything like mine, you’ve had some memorable experiences with separation anxiety; daycare drop-off, date night, or a girls-only getaway. Goodbyes are tearful, clingy and tremendously difficult to part ways for anything outside of our usual routine. For me. My four-year-old daughter, however, is mostly fine, and relishes the attention of new people and easily adapts to new situations.

So what about when mom travels?

I was recently offered an opportunity to travel abroad for several weeks, and walk a portion of Spain’s Camino de Santiago with my 72-year-old father. Understandably, I was torn. If I stayed, would I miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Is now the right time? Don’t good mamas always stay home to take care of their babies? If I went, would I set a good example of feminism and independence? Show my daughter the importance of following your dreams? What if by staying home I created an insecure attachment? Or by leaving set her up for future abandonment issues?

In an effort to separate a guilt trip from a Spain trip, I crowd-sourced others’ experiences, opinions, and insights. I learned of several fathers who went away for months at a time, mothers who traveled often for less than two weeks at a time, and parents of older children who took longer vacations. I obsessively researched parent-child attachment, consulted with my therapist for realistic concerns, and scoured the internet for real-life stories from women who were away from their young children for stretches of time.

Ultimately, I decided to carpe diem this bucket list opportunity and embark on 25 nights away from my husband and daughter. Supported emotionally and logistically by my partner, and aided with the willing generosity of my in-laws, I committed to the adventure.

First, I addressed most of the travel logistics and planning; plane tickets (check), walking itinerary, childcare arrangements, passport renewal, all-weather gear (check, check, check and check), so I was available to spend the remainder of my time:

• Anxiously anticipating the trans-continental flight
• Ruminating dozens of what-if scenarios in my absence
• Second-guessing my decision to go
• Obsessively planning creative ways to maintain a hand in my daughter’s daily routine

I won’t bore you with my fear of flying or bother listing the myriad of catastrophes unlikely to occur, but I will share the reasons I think other moms should seize opportunities to embark on child-free travel adventures of all kinds, and the ways I prepared to love on my family from afar.

To read the full piece on the PMB website, follow this link: 

http://portland.citymomsblog.com/travel/travel-without-kids/