... the most social part of your Friday night is when you group text with your BFFs about your favorite TV show.
... your favorite actors now play only "mom" roles.
... you take a pregnancy test before going on your bi-annual night on the town.
... you call a hashtag the "pound sign" until your hip, urban younger cousin corrects you.
... a "real" date night with your husband is having a grandparent watch your kid so you can see a movie in the theater before your Fandango gift card expires.
... you think Instagram is just a photo editing app.
... you'd rather go shopping for pillows than party pants.
... you wear running shoes with your dress to walk to the bars after a bachelorette party.
... you have to put on your glasses to watch The Today Show.
... you pee a little when you jump on the trampoline.
... you pee A LOT when trying to "get your body back after baby" doing the Beachbody home workout videos.
... you pee a little when you jump on the trampoline.
... you pee A LOT when trying to "get your body back after baby" doing the Beachbody home workout videos.
... you're planning a girls' trip with your friends and you're still trying to get free accommodations (eg family/friend houses, cabins, couches,etc), and think, "when we are FORTY we will have enough money to go on a *real* vacation."
... you are rocking zits, dry skin, and emerging wrinkles. Where are the skincare products for us?!?
... you acquired some drugs - months ago - and can always come up with a million and one reasons why now is just not the time; usually because you're too worn out to bother with drugs
... you acquired some drugs - months ago - and can always come up with a million and one reasons why now is just not the time; usually because you're too worn out to bother with drugs
... you don't know what an emoji is or where to find one, or you don't know the difference between an emoticon and an emoji.
... you have to Google "YOLO."
... you get really excited about buying new dinner plates.
... your talk of sex is TRYING to get pregnant rather than trying NOT to get knocked up.
... your husband plays indoor soccer, and after a collision with a 20-something, he can't lay on his right side in bed for at least a week.
... your husband plays indoor soccer, and after a collision with a 20-something, he can't lay on his right side in bed for at least a week.
... you head to bed early on Saturday because you are still recovering from your Friday night.....which was spent watching Parenthood on your couch.
... you can't stop talking about how low gas prices are! $2.95? $2.95!!
... your New Year's Eve plans for a threesome include Ben & Jerry.
... your big New Year's Eve plans include putting the kids down early and having sex with your husband in a variety of places in your house.
... you can't believe what "kids these days" are wearing.
... you don't know what "sizzurp" is, and you wonder why kids today don't just smoke pot and eat mushrooms like I'm the good ole days.
... you've started talking about and sharing photos of illness and injury.
... you can't believe what "kids these days" are wearing.
... you don't know what "sizzurp" is, and you wonder why kids today don't just smoke pot and eat mushrooms like I'm the good ole days.
... you've started talking about and sharing photos of illness and injury.
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