I Should

It seems I've come down with a case of the shoulds. My symptoms include headache, muscle soreness, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, irritability, feelings of guilt and inadequacy, obsessive attention to detail and compulsive re-organizing of piles.

I went from "this-stay-at-home-mom-thing-is-divine-in-every-way-what-fun-it-is-to-sit-and-stare-at-my-beautiful-baby-and-leisurely-enjoy-the-small-things-in-life" attitude to, "why-the-hell-is-this-coffee-cup-not-in-the-dishwasher-I-have-to-do-everything-why-is-there-never-enough-time!" Needless to say, I've been down and out with the shoulds for the last couple days.

"I should be able to run errands more efficiently."
"I should take more time to enjoy the baby."
"I should cook my husband dinner."
"I should vacuum more often."
"I should make cookies for the neighbors just to be nice."
"I should hold the baby and never put her down."
"I should sew more pillows for the couch."
"I should go for a hike."
"I should be reading in the sunshine."
"I should re-paint the bedroom."
"I should lose weight. Or I should go shopping."
"I should plant more flowers."
"I should take every idea I've ever pinned on Pinterest and complete all of the home decor, craft, and sewing projects by the end of the weekend."
"I should call my brother more often."
"I should make my dad a Father's Day card."
"I should be eating more vegetables. I mean, why not try eating eggplant."
"I should walk the dog on a more regular schedule."

"I should be able to do it all. I should be beautiful like Sofia Vergara while keeping house like Martha Stewart and dressing like an Olsen Twin and cooking like Julia Child and mothering like Ann Romney and socializing like a Kardashian and volunteering like Princess Diana and sexing like Jenna Jameson- while never sweating a drop and appearing to master it all seamlessly." (Clearly this Superwoman I've created never has any hormonal hot flashes that visit me regularly each day).

The best remedy for the shoulds is to say, "Fuck it. I'm sitting on my new chaise lounge with my baby on my chest, drinking a Diet Coke, ignoring my phone, and chatting with my husband about his day while the sun sets."