I began to worry about you yesterday morning after a terrible dream that something bad had happened to you. I woke up scared that maybe you weren't inside my belly anymore. Or that you were in there, but that you weren't healthy or safe. I wasn't sure if I could feel you kicking and squirming anymore. I wasn't sure if I'd just gotten used to my rounder belly and lower abdominal sensations, or if something were truly wrong.
And that's when I knew how much I already love you. I realized I would be devastated if something were to go wrong. I feel like we've already made it so far together, and to think we're only halfway through a journey that begins before you even enter this world. We've got a lot of adventures ahead of us, Baby Girl.
Everything felt better when I got to hear your beating heart, at 22 weeks old, during my doctor's appointment this week. You are measuring just right inside my belly, and making me gain weight, supposedly in all the right places. I now weigh more than I ever have before. Even when I was in college and drinking too much beer and eating too much pizza. They say that's a good thing, since I'm working toward the goal of growing you a healthy brain. I'm not eating anything too weird yet. I love ice cream and tortilla chips just as much as I did before we created you. I actually feel pretty fabulous. You and that placenta gave me a run for my money weeks 6 through 14, but since then I've felt mostly like my old self. I'm tired after a day of work, but not too tired to watch Jeopardy!
I'm happy to know that you are indeed punching and kicking me in the liver or kidney, but I wish your daddy could feel this too. The doctor said it won't be too long before we'll be able to feel your movement from the outside. In the meantime, your daddy talks to you every night, and begs you to give him a sign that you want to come out and play with him next Spring. He is so excited to meet you - we both are - but he's getting all geared up to be the great daddy of an amazing daughter. I don't think he ever planned on having so many girls in his life, but he's already doing such a great job taking care of me, Gizzy, and now you.
Other people are excited to meet you, too. Your Grammy got a new job, so she won't be around as much as we'd secretly hoped once you are born. But your Auntie Rachel already agreed to help take care of you when I have to go back to work. And she's already so in love with you she's been knitting you several cute hats. Friends ask me how I'm feeling, and people at work and on Facebook are starting to know and tell us congratulations.
Even though we get scared sometimes - about your health, our parenting - we are already so proud to be your parents. We can't wait to meet you, and we promise to do the best job we can to nurture you both physically and emotionally - and to always tell you that we love you. Which we do, to the moon and back.
Lots of love and hugs and kisses,
Your Mommy
Such a sweet post. : ) I can't wait for the excited post about the time Alex can finally feel her move! And I can already tell I'm going to love your baby's name, whichever one you finally settle on.
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