Love is in the Air

"I want to live to be 94 so I can shoot you in the face," Alex said to me lovingly last night.

"I hope so, too," I said, kissing his cheek.

Blame it on the hormones, but my heart is warmed by off-beat love stories, like the recent one of the elderly couple involved in a "murder-suicide."

On Thursday in Troutdale, a 87-year-old man shot and killed his 92-year-old wife, called the police, and then shot and killed himself. They had been married nearly 64 years and were found side-by-side in their bed. The husband did not own a gun, according to his daughter, but likely stole his son-in-law's pistol. The elderly couple served in WWII together and met at a dance in Washington, D.C. They had lived in their Troutdale home for over 30 years. Neighbors had nice things to say about the couple, that the husband paid attention to keeping a nice yard, while the wife was more reclusive and watched TV after suffering a stroke two years ago. Her husband had been her 24-hour caregiver since not being able to afford in-home nursing care, a load their daughter described as "exhausting" for her father. The husband caught pneumonia six weeks ago, and reportedly joked about wanting to meet Jack Kevorkian. Their daughter indicated this was an example of what happens to people who fall through the cracks. But I'd like to believe this was an act of mercy and eternal love.

My other favorite love story was the one I saw on The Today Show this morning. It's the story of a couple who found love while enduring the heartbreak of losing their beloved spouses. One man's wife died not even three weeks after being diagnosed with a brain tumor. They had school-aged children together. Another woman's husband died after being diagnosed with cancer. They, too, had school-aged children. Before the wife with the brain tumor passed away, she told her husband to contact this woman, Gina, who had just lost her husband and father of her children. Anyhow, here's a local Michigan news story of how they had each been married to the loves of their lives, lost that love, found each other, and moved forward with their blended family while continuing to keep their deceased spouses alive in their relationship together ... Tear, sniff, sniff.

ROCHESTER, Mich., (WXYZ) - A couple from Rochester will be sharing their story of heartache and hope on national television and radio shows. But first they shared it with our JoAnne Purtan.

It’s dinnertime at the Spehn house in Rochester, Michigan. A time to share the day’s happenings and be thankful for all this family of 7 has.

“For all the blessings in our lives, amen,” Michael Spehn prays with his wife and five children.

Nearly six years ago, Gina and Michael Spehn didn’t think this kind of contentment and joy would be possible a second time around.

It was Christmas day 2005. Just hours after Gina and Matt Kell’s young sons opened gifts from Santa, their dad died of a rare form of cancer.

“Matt was passionate, he was funny, he was an amazing dad and he just loved life,” Gina says of her late husband.

Knowing he was dying, Matt Kell spent the last months of his life leaving behind a legacy for his wife and kids; a series of video diaries in which he teaches his boys the types of things he wouldn’t be around to teach them as they grow older. In the diaries he talks about everything from growing their faith in God to treating girls and women with respect. But with his words only on video now, Gina was left to raise two young boys as a single, heartbroken mom.

Just three weeks later, across town, heartbreak was about to knock on the door of Michael Spehn’s life. Cathy was his beloved wife and mother of his three kids.

“She has a smile that would light up the universe,” Michael says. “It’s one of those unique kinds of unique smiles that people just notice. But she was a wife and mother, better than any I’ve ever seen.”

But out of nowhere came excruciating headaches.

“We walked into the ER, and that’s when they diagnosed her with gleoblastoma, or brain cancer. And from there it was just 17 days later that she passed away.”

Two grieving spouses and 5 young kids left without one parent. Shortly after Cathy died, in their own heartache, her kids wrote a contract for their dad to sign, promising he’d never marry again, unless he asked their permission.

So how did these families become one? Cathy and Matt, both now gone, had been childhood friends but their spouses had never met. As Cathy lay dying, she had a message for her husband.

“And sort of out of the blue, she said to me, ‘Michael, call Gina Kell.’” But Michael said he dismissed it.

“She grasped my hand a little tighter, she opened her eyes and said ‘Michael, call Gina Kell, she’ll help you’ and a few hours later she passed away.”

Before long, he did call Gina and the two became a support system to each other during their darkest days.

“I couldn’t wait for the phone to ring because I knew there was going to be someone on the other line that I could lament do, and would be no judgment, there would be total understanding,” Gina says.

“When you’re the widow or the widower, people are very solicitous to your every need, they walk on egg shells, they talk in certain tones that say you’ve been damaged and I don’t want to upset you,” Michael says. “And you really crave a normal conversation. When Gina came in our life, and her boys, we interacted with each other like normal people, and it was wonderful to feel that way again.”

Their kids shared a connection no children should have to, and they became fast friends. And for Gina and Michael, as the fog of grief cleared a bit they began looking at each other a little differently.

Gina added, “First you’re my companion in grief, in this miserable club that we’re a part of, and then all of a sudden, you and I are looking at each other saying you’re an amazing dad, you’re a good strong Christian man and I’m looking at you a little differently than I was six months ago."

Marriage is something neither imagined ever doing again. But just as Cathy had left Michael a gift, telling him to call Gina, Matt had also left a gift, telling his boys in those video diaries that he wanted their mom to marry again! So when things got more serious between them, they talked to the kids about blending their families.

“We had to almost ask for permission first,” Michael explains. “We had to ask for their blessing, before we could actually ask each other formally. In fact, Michael was honoring that contract his kids had made him sign.

“They hooted and hollered and were jumping around the house, they were as happy as we were,” Gina says. So on a warm October day in 2007, almost two years after they had attended funerals, Gina and Michael got married and were pronounced Mom and Dad.

“They still hold their late parents very close, they’re very present tense, and even between Gina and myself, we get to still be in love with our spouses,” Michael says. “I’m still in love with Cathy, and Gina is still in love with Matt, and she should be. There are nine people in this household; two of them have just been called home.”

Gina and Michael have written a book about what they’ve been through. It’s called “The Color of Rain.”